Sidney Crosby Gets Carte Blanche For Sucker-Punching Your Genitalia

Good news for fans of nutshots everywhere: The NHL's ridiculous star treatment of the Pittsburgh Penguins' Sidney Crosby continues.

Crosby broke almost every unwritten rule hockey has last week when he uppercutted Atlanta's Boris Valabik in the junk ... from behind ... with his gloves on. If he'd been listening to Maroon 5 on his iPod during all of this, we could have given him a lethal injection on the spot.

Crosby was clearly the third man into the fracas with Valabnik and that alone merited an automatic ejection, instead of the measly two-minute roughing call he received. The Thrashers have turned to the NHL for justice, and the NHL, once again, has disappointed.

"Here's the weird thing," Thrashers coach John Anderson said. "If he had punched him in the face, would he have gotten five minutes [for fighting]? A punch to the groin, is that two minutes? I'm going to have to phone [NHL vice president] Colin Campbell and get a verification on that rule."

Colin Campbell is easily the worst thing to happen to the NHL since composite sticks. If the league continues to curb fighting and take the act of retribution out of the players' hands, the office has to pick up the slack. They haven't. In fact, they've learned nothing since Todd Bertuzzi. So if you're not a big "star" in the NHL, watch your junk, because Sid the Kid is a cheap-shoting, teste-punching machine. And there's nobody upstairs that intends to stop him.

With Crosby Disregard, NHL Obviously Endorses Genital Walloping [Puck Daddy]