There are several key storylines that will beaten into the ground by everyone who covers the Super Bowl over the next week. We will beat them down even further.

You know what every good Super Bowl team needs? A little dissension in the ranks. Ok, maybe that's the last thing the team needs, but for the reporters covering that team it's a goldmine.

Anquan Boldin delivered a perfect Super Bowl Sub-plot when he had an angry dust up with Arizona's offensive coordinator Todd Haley late in the Cardinals dramatic win over the Eagles. Boldin says the whole thing was a "hilarious" misunderstanding. Yes, it was so funny when he didn't even celebrate a conference championship win with his teammates and skipped out of the locker room before most of them came off the field. Side-splitting.

Everyone on the team says it's a non-issue, but we know better. We've seen this story so many times that it's almost laughable that a cocky wide receiver would put his team before himself. He is disgruntled. He wants out. He wants to sabotage this game ... the biggest game of the year. The Cardinals would love to get rid of this unwanted distraction.... but they can't! They must confront it! He's too valuable. Can team and player salvage their relationship long enough to grab one last big payday?

Yes, one way or another Anquan Boldin will decided the outcome of this game. Either as the heroic sidekick who opens up the field (or steals the show from) superstar partner Larry Fitzgerald... or as the team cancer who undermines a championship effort with jealousy and greed. Before we find out which one is true, somebody check the current money line on these two propositions.

Boldin laughs off reaction to run-in with Haley [AP/Google]
Stock Watch: Boldin a "Super" distraction? [Sporting News]
Boldin now member of dubious club [London Free Press]
Disgruntled WR Boldin threatening to spoil Cardinals' Super Bowl party [Canadian Press]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.