• He's extra special: A grocery clerk who competes in the Special Olympics has challenged the president to a bowling match. The guy averages 266! Screw Obama—why isn't he in the PBA? [TMZ]

• Don't bother: Upper Deck is having a promotion where people can submit inscriptions to Kobe Bryant and he will autograph the winners on to special cards that will go into packs. I'm going to go out on a limb, and say none of your ideas get chosen. [The Beckett Blog]

• I prefer muttonchops: These people want David Wright to grow a mustache. I would advise against that. [The Wright Stache]

• The legends are true: A reporter unearths video evidence of the first actual dunk in a women's college game. Women's hoops and video cameras in West Virginia? Now I've seen everything. [WSJ.com]

• No summer rules: Golfers find an unexploded grenade buried on a course. I would let it play through if I were you. [Oob Golf]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.