Penguins Fans Are Not At All Desperate, Hard Up For DatesS

For some of you ladies, your dream may be to marry a handsome millionaire in the Bahamas. For others, it may be a magical date with a Penguins fan on Dollar Night at Mellon Arena.

Tonight, your dreams may just come true! A Penguins fan (not pictured) is on Craigslist advertising for a date to tonight's NHL playoff game with the Flyers. All you have to do is show up, be attractive, and have a working knowledge of the Penguins. Form an orderly line, ladies!

I don't see how it would be possible to resist.

We will meet somewhere downtown after work and grab a quick bite to eat before the game. From there we will rush off to the see the Penguins smash the Flyers again! I have 2 seats in the IGLOO section, so in between periods, we can go into the lounge for a refreshment or snack.

Conditions abound:

Age: Between 25 and 45
Race: Not a factor
Education: Some higher education or specialized training. We do have to be able to carry on a somewhat intellingent (sic) conversation, after all.
Marital Stats: Single or Divorced. I am not interested in someone who is separtated from her husband or worse yet, married and sneaking around behind his back!
Favorite Hockey Team: PITTSBURGH PENGUINS!! Please tell me how long you have been a Pens fan and how loyal of a fan you are. Examples would be appreciated!

Please include a few (not from the same set) RECENT photographs of you in your reply so I can verify that you are real and determine if there is a physical attraction on my end. You will receive photographs from me, ONLY if you are selected, so that you can verify that I am real and also determine if there is a physical attraction towards me from your perspective. Fair is fair. I don't want this to feel like a total blind date for either of us.

PLEASE MEN — NO FAKE OR EVEN REAL REPLYS! THE GAME IS TOMORROW NIGHT AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE SLOWED DOWN BY YOUR FOOLISHNESS. I AM 100% HETEROSEXUAL

Your loss, guy. You were THIS CLOSE to attending this game with Jeff Reed.

Free Ticket To Pens Game On Friday — $1 (Mellon Arena) [Craigslist]
Attention Ladies — Now's Your Chance For A $1 Game [PensBurgh]