A-Rod played in an intrasquad scrimmage today (he homered!) and answered the charges leveled at him in the New York Daily News today. Oh, I'm sorry—refused to answer that charges. Yes, that's what I meant.
We did learn, however, that HarperCollins is moving up the release date of Selena Roberts' book by a full week as a result of the Daily News and their apparently unauthorized leaking shenanigans. It will now drop on May 4. Oh, and the actual title of the book is ... wait for it ... "A-Rod." I guess "Bitch Tits" was already taken.
Finally, and most importantly, we did get this important update about the gratuity polices at Hooters on the hotline:
Just read your post about the A-Rod book. While I do not know anything about his alleged steriod use, I do know about his tipping prowess. In case you didnt know, Hooters adds 15 percent to all of their checks, even if you just order a soda. Not a lot of people tip more on included gratuity. However, I work in a restaurant that doesnt add gratuity and have waited on A-Rod a few times. Each time he has left at least 20 bucks, regardless of the bill total.
Well, that's nice. Unless the average total bill in your restaurant is $350, in which case Alex Rodriguez is still a total dick. And by the way, why would Hooters, of all places, enforce mandatory gratuities? Isn't the whole point of scandalously clad barmaids to maximize tip value based on bra size and cleavage parabolas? It seems like enforcing the 15% tip rule would simply discourage extra tipping and result in an artificial cap on your waitresses' earning potential. These are the mysteries of the universe that keep me up at night.
Alex Rodriguez, A-Rod of New York Yankees on steroid allegations [ESPN, autoplay warning]