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Even Johnny Damon's pussy-lickin' face can't help the Yankees end their five game losing streak. Last night's culprit? Lots and lots of home runs. Andy Pettitte gave up four jacks and Mariano Rivera gave up another two in the ninth to let the scrappy Rays march off with the victory. They suck. The good news? ALEX RODRIGUEZ WILL JOIN THE TEAM IN BALTIMORE TONIGHT. Given the way the Yankees are playing right now, ol' Bitch Tits might be a welcome distraction.

Good morning. It's late. Fuckin' Zombies.

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at ajd@deadspin.com.