When On Hannity, Jay Feely Does As The Hannitys Do

What's new with Jay Feely? Well, he eagled the par-5 eighth at Liberty National on Monday, and he's all fired up. Oh, and later that day, he went on Hannity and told the nation he's scared of President Obama.

You see, the New York Jets' kicker isn't just one of those dumb jocks who misses three field goals in one game. He follows the news and has a working knowledge of history. He went to the University of Michigan, and he graduated. Also, he thinks Barack Obama is really a socialist Muslim whose policies are meant to cripple the country, and for some reason, Feely isn't a fan. (Or, you know, something like that.)

Worldly, well-spoken and capable of alluding to the foundation of character traits that makes Amuricah great? Sign this guy up for The Great American Panel, and spell his name right, if you can.

So last night, when Feely hobnobbed with Hannity and two other white men, the conversation dealt with Iran. Hannity cited Reagan and Solidarity — what else would he do? — and when he turned to Feely for insight, the placekicker didn't whiff. He quoted the 19th-century clergyman Phillips Brooks (not Phillip Brooks, mind you), and even better, he referenced leadership in the process. He talked about character and honor. He brought up Iran, and North Korea, and some dude named Chavez. It was almost like he had an offensive coordinator feeding talking points in his ear.

Per Feely's Twitter bio — the ADD version of Wikipedia — the kicker is a "golfing fanatic, fishermen, Christian, with political aspirations." Wonder which party has his vote.

Nate Silver, start breaking down the polls: Feely 2012!

Send an email to Ben Cohen, the author of this post, at ben@deadspin.com.

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