The Rich Get Richer With ESPY Swag

One of the great ironies of life is that the more money you make, the more stuff you get for free. It's the only reason rich people leave the house. So what do they get for going to the ESPYs?

The MacDonald-free award show airs on Sunday and will be filmed tonight, but first they producers had to get pro athletes and celebrities to show up and pretend they care. LAist has a list of some of the bait:

• Undefeated and EA Sports: Free duffel bags ($225 est). Thirty VIPs got a personalized, laser-engraved PlayStation 3 or PSP.
• iHome: Free speakers, Keyboards and wireless laser mouse ($179.99), and laptop cooling pads.
• Simmons Jewelry: Whatever gaudy crap Russell Simmons could come up with.
• NameDrop.com: Free Flip cams to anyone who signs up for their new "Facebook for the glitterati."
• Muze Clothing: T-shirts printed with classic movie lines. Fun!
• Skullcandy: Fancy headphones.
• Wynn: VIP cards for the Vegas casino pool. (That they would probably get into anyway.)
• Marley Coffee: Coffee beans made by the son of a reggae legend. (Possibly laced.)
• Axe: BODY SPRAY BODY SPRAY BODY SPRAY
• Sentient: Coupons for private jets. Seriously!
• Patron: Got everyone drunk.

Actually, most of that stuff sounds pretty worthless. It will be cluttering up mansions for years.

It Pays to be a Pro at the ESPY Gifting Suites [LAist]
[Photo via]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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