The UFL finally has its marquee player. The former Bills QB finally has a starting job. Unfortunately for the both of them, those aren't unrelated statements.

The United Football League's tagline, "Where the future stars come to play!" sounds a little sadder tonight, with news that the Darko of the 2004 QB draft class is joining the league.

After losing out on backup QB gigs to Josh McCown and Chris Simms (who, we might remind you, is prone to spleen explosions), Losman pulled the old "you can't fire me, I quit" and signed with the as-yet-unnamed Las Vegas franchise. He'll be coached by Jim Fassel, whose previous quarterbacks were Danny Kanell and Kerry Collins. I'm not sure who's being trolled here.

If I had doubt that he should not be a starting winning quarterback, I wouldn't take it on," Fassel said. "But I had the same feeling with Kerry Collins ... J.P.'s got tremendous athletic skills. This guy should be a starter in the NFL. I mean, come on ... But I still understand you can help a guy. Even Tiger Woods needs a swing coach."

Poking around the UFL's site, I was surprised to see some familiar names. The other three coaches are Jim Haslett, Denny Green and Ted Cotrell, and they'll be leading teams quarterbacked by Tim Rattay, Ken Dorsey and Brooks Bollinger. The UFL is every hack writer's punchline come to life.

Since Losman is now the face of the league, I assume they'll be changing the logo to a silhouette of a QB flat on his back.

Losman signs with Las Vegas UFL team [ESPN.com]

Send an email to Barry Petchesky, the author of this post, at barryp@deadspin.com.