Tulsa's Proactive Mascot Teaches You About Electricity, I ThinkS

Many, many years ago, Tulsa made the decision to name their athletic teams after a weather system. Today, that decision has come back to haunt them. Again.

Since it's very difficult to anthropomorphize wind, the Golden Hurricanes have experimented with various versions of what is now known as "Captain 'Cane." At a press conference today, the latest iteration of the Captain's look was unveiled to a very light smattering of applause. He's blue, he's muscular, he carries some sort of lightning sword (not as cool as it sounds) and he has male pattern baldness. Sadly, this is an improvement on the previous waffle-headed abomination.

Best of all, he has a comic book and a backstory. Behold:

The Captain ‘Cane story goes like this...Colin Cane, a freshman at The University of Tulsa, worked in IT support at night to help pay his way through college. During an electrical storm one night, Colin was called to the TU sports complex to fix a malfunctioning satellite that was broadcasting a live game. Never again would he watch his favorite team in action as a mere mortal. As he adjusted the satellite, the roar of the crowd coursed through the transmitter just as it was zapped with static electricity from the storm. Colin became entangled in a web of cyber-athletic forces. The atmospheric oddity known as a "binary vortex" mutated Colin over the course of several years. He eventually lost his hair but gained super-human powers. Thus he became Captain ‘Cane, a champion athlete and highly educated zealot of all things TU.

I guess Louie The Lightning Bug was booked.

TU's Mascot Gets A New Look [KOTV]

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Well, the wolf is hungry so it's time to call it a day. Dolphins-Colts on MNF tonight. Oh, but the "Two and A Half Men" season premiere is also on! Gahhh! Why must you vex me so, TV gods?