Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•On the strength of Illinois rallying to top Clemson, Ohio State knocking off FSU, and of course, Wisconsin toppling Duke, the Big Ten took the Big Ten/ACC Challenge for the first time in its 11-year history. Does this mean the Big Ten is tops in the nation? Don't count out the MAC, because Toledo put quite a hurting on non-NCAA, not-even-NAIA Rochester College.
•The Blackhawks will announce today that they've signed Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith to long term deals. So their core of young stars will remain intact well into the next decade. Plus, you know, Marian Hossa until 2021.
•The NFL released new concussion guidelines, preventing players from returning to action if they show signs of a concussion. It's not like the rough-and-tumble old days, when a player had to be literally unconscious before they would be given the day off. Oh wait; that was the rule up until yesterday.
•Because everything in soccer has to take for-fucking-ever, FIFA yesterday announced the procedures for the World Cup draw to be held on Friday. Hard to figure out what it means, but people who know say it's not good news for the U.S. Also, the fact that it's soccer, not good news for the U.S.
•Juan Marichal and the family of Johnny Roseboro will attend the opening of a play based upon the former's famous beating of the latter with a bat. The two became good friends, so there's still hope for Mike Piazza's one-man show about his bat-throwing nemesis, "Roger & Me: The Musical!"
I've got nothing pithy to say. I'm a broken man. Don't ask me to liveblog a Nets game ever again.