UT Hostesses Now Recruiting Bruce Pearl

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•It's been a while since we've seen Bruce Pearl use a bit of the ol' magic on the fairer sex, but he more than makes up for it in this undated very old photo of him with his new divan.

•Sorry, golf fans. No refunds on tickets if Tiger doesn't show up for the event. As if Prayad Marksaeng wasn't enough of a draw for your $200.

Mike Holmgren is reportedly in talks to take over the Browns' football operations. I'm sorry, did I say "take over?" This must be a newly created position, because the Browns don't have any football operations to speak of.

•In an SI poll, the majority of NFL players think Roger Goodell is doing a bang-up job. This means nothing if we're grading on a curve, given his commissioner counterparts.

•I take back everything I said about Tracy McGrady not being a worthy all-star. After three points in eight minutes in his season debut, I'm convinced he could take on the East 1v5 and take them easily.

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That's it from me. The daywalkers will be with you presently.