Alabama Fans Hope To Shut Down State For One Week In January

You're probably aware that the University of Alabama has canceled any classes that might possibly interfere with students' drinkingenjoyment of the BCS Championship, but now some lawyers have asked a judge to shut down the state's legal system as well.

A email is being passed around the offices of people who should really be working on other things at legal firms all over the country. It contains a motion for continuance filed for a civil case in the Circuit Court of Jefferson County, Alabama. (County seat? Birmingham. Of course.) The case is scheduled to go to trial on January 4, 2010 ... three days before the local football squad plays Texas.

It really is a masterful piece of legalese, which takes three pages to say that this case is important and all, but .... FOOT. BALL. Some highlights:

Comes now Jon B. Terry, as one of the attorneys for the Defendants and would move to continue the current trial setting of January 4, 2010 and as grounds therefore would aver as follows:

[...]

4. Most of the attorneys representing all of the named Defendants have tickets and reservations to be in Pasadena on the 6th day of January, 2010, which date would conflict with the trial date as travel times and schedules for the game overlap the trial as currently set.

5. In fact, the Honorable Jim Lloyd has children that live in the area and is scheduled to be with them in California to celebrate the game and the Tide s success.

6. Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs. Unfortunately, that response remains short-sighted as they may one day find themselves in the same position that the Defendant attorneys are in and, unfortunately, the BSC Title Game is no longer scheduled on January 1st, but has been moved to January 7th.

[...]

considering the magnitude of this event and its impact on this State, and the fact such an event only comes infrequently during a person's lifetime and is an achievement of such a magnitude that all involved in this litigation should want everyone to fully participate in this achievement.

9. ROLL TIDE!! ( although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels that I need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated.

Wow. That's first time the "ROLL TIDE" defense has been used since "Marbury vs. Bo Jackson." Naturally, this is not the first time that the pursuit of justice has gotten in the way of a good football game, but we've yet to hear if this stunning argument has won over the judge.

The plaintiffs—obvious Auburn fans!—were not amused:

This case is a very serious case involving the death of the plaintiff's mother. The case was filed in 2005, and is ready to be tried. ... Simply stated, some things are more important than football.

Naturally, every state that holds an SEC school has identified the lawyer who wrote that last line and had him disbarred.

Best. Motion to Continue. Ever. [Above The Law]

The full motion and the plaintiff's response are below: