The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A CarS

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.)

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Yes, It's Called "Dragoning"

Thanks to the guys at Jalopnik for answering one reader's question, specifically "What the fuck is going on here?!" I was not familiar with the term, but thankfully Ray Wert's raucous crew of gear-heard commenters educated me. And everyone else. Also — we did not pay for this photo.

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A CarS

Onward!

Someone Has Fun Photoshopping Jose Reyes' Road Beef

Wow please put this up on deadspin look at Jose Reyes in these 2 pics, I would like to call your attention to the girl on the far right in the second pic omg cant wait to see the reader comments on this....

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A CarS

Does Eli Manning Have To Choke A Bitch?

my brother (who goes to college at Cal State long beach) has a friend who went to high school at isidiore newman with eli manning. He claims that during his senior year eli pulled a chris brown and hit his girlfriend and it was covered up because he was a local star. MY brother swears that this guy would never make it up so out of pure curiousity has anyone else ever emailed you guys about this?

Everyone Loves It When Moe And Parene Write For Deadspin

Remind me again what your collective readership did to deserve Moe and
Alex? Who did we piss off, exactly? Because weekends with these hacks
running the show is like spending the day with a New York City
cabdriver:

* Driver doesn't speak English
* Driver doesn't give a shit where you want to go
* Driver obviously hates you

There's something to be said here about knowing your audience. It
doesn't seem like your readers are into Moe and Alex's intellectual
masturbation shtick. Their posts, regardless of their intentions, are
deliberately dense and don't make a whole hell of a lot of sense.
Their posts are only tangentially related to sports, and usually as a
waypoint to some obscure political bullshit that a) we simply don't
care about, or b) is written in such a way that it's impossible to
divine their actual intent. Their writing may be intended as satire,
but suffice it to say it just ain't funny, unless you're the kind of
douche-bugle who reads the goddamn Economist and then proceeds to brag
about it to complete strangers. They're not Andy Kaufman, and they're
not The Onion. They're trying too hard and I hate them for it and they
deserve it.

I wish them the very best in their other endeavors, presumably paid
gigs with audiences that can appreciate...whatever it is they do, but
I would be perfectly content if they spent their Saturdays for the
foreseeable future locked in a bathroom stall at The Olive Garden
sucking dicks for ten bucks a pop. Of course, after comparing our
expectations with the content they've delivered at Deadspin, their
idea of a blowjob would probably be punching some poor john in the
cock while reciting the Gettysburg Address using their very best and
well-worn Henry Kissinger impression.

Regards and condolences,
bench

Everyone Loves It When Peggy Noonan Writes For Deadspin

Wow you have no concept of anything...

1)Its good business to put the games on NFL Network
2)Matt Millen is considered a bad GM but a very good color commentator by many people in the football world
3)The NFL is not at fault for broadcasting a game on their network. Would you have even written this if the game was another game from this weekend? Say Cleveland at KC? I don't think so.
4)For that matter would you have written this for any other sport other than football? If this was a final month of the season game between the Yankess and the Red Sox with another 2 weeks (or more) to go would you even be writing this? Or perhaps a basketball game between the Lakers and Celtics with a week to go? The honest answer is no, you wouldn't be writing this column.
5)Which proves point 1 that its good business for the NFL to put the game such as this (Dallas at NO) on the NFL network. Supply and Demand, basic economic theory. More people want to watch the game, those who can't call their provider and either a)demand the NFL network or b)cancel and switch to a dish (which as a subscriber in Maryland I can attest is coming in fine despite the snow) thereby increasing NFL Network's marketshare (eventually) and profits and therefore the NFL's profits.

Grow up...this sterotypical, dated, and shortsighted criticism of something that is both smart and fine is typical of people that don't think about or past their own concerns. It has nothing to do with vulgarity or American character...in fact it is you and your assertion that the capitalistic practices of the NFL and their Network is anything but american and smart business that in actuality is both vulgar and a statement in opposition of capitalism and "American Character".

-Richard Dana

P.S. Matt Millen has nothing to do with the issue at hand (High Demand Game on a "premium" [we on DirecTv don't pay extra for it with our basic package] channel) he just happens to be a broadcaster for them so to use his reputation as a GM to besmirch his ability (not in question or doubt) as a commentator is a cheap attempt and convincing people with an attack that has nothing to do with what you are complaining about.

Sometimes Gawker Is Like A Real, Live Company

Without any context, this email from our beloved office-minder, Julia, just seems downright sleazy...

Tom has some girls coming from Budapest office next week and they need to sit somewhere so he wants to put them behind tech where yo u and Tommy are. Can you clean up your desk next week? Talk to Tom if you have a problem cuz I'll be on vacay.

Thanks and merry Xmas!