Rick Majerus: Serial Child SquasherS

Last week, we ran a post that exposed SLU head basketball coach Rick Majerus as someone who enjoys shitting on towels and sitting on campers. Here are MORE stories of Majerus', uh, largesse.

Dan:

I wanted to confirm absolutely everything in that (camp) story. As I'm sure you figured out, the camp in question occurs each summer at Cardinal Stritch University (apparently it's still going on). I don't remember too much about the week I spent at the camp, but Majerus' habit of sitting on kids has definitely been burned into my memory. Long before Majerus would even show his face at the camp, every camper was well aware that he was in danger of finding himself trapped under 370 lbs of man-sweat. About halfway through practice, Majerus would stroll in, sweating profusely, and let us all know about the rather grueling workout he had just completed. For some reason I remember him telling us that he had just run 5 miles, but, in retrospect, either he figured 12-year-olds would believe anything or my memory is failing me. The rest of the story goes pretty much as Matt told it. Kids line up, defensive position, Majerus selects his top three list of "kids I would most like to scar permanently today," and commences the ritual. Like Matt, I was fortunate enough to escape that experience, but I don't think it would be too hard to drum up some former campers with firsthand experience.

Tyson:

I grew up in Utah and went to the Majerus basketball camps at the UofU every summer. The story about him sitting on kids is definitely true although, in my experience, he mostly leans on them until they collapse.

Doubt that would take very long. But some readers say don't be hatin' on the child-sitting technique.

Dominic:

I grew up in the Milwaukee area and attended the Rick Majerus Basketball camp twice at Cardinal Stritch University. My dad used to drink and eat pizza w/ Majerus while he coached at Marquette and he told me the camp would be "good for me" since nobody in Wisconsin gives a camp worth a damn (This was pre Bo Ryan era). My first year Rick did "sit on my back" in an effort to teach me how low one should stay in their defensive stance. The guy who emailed you was spot on, about Majerus showing up post workout, sweat dripping from all sorts of places that it can only sweat on middle-aged obese men. He was right about his lathering, giddy speeches about Keith Van Horn. He also lectured for what seemed like hours on the triple-threat position and how God like Malone/Stockton were. Overall, he was a pretty nice guy and most have kept his "cunt" vocabulary for the college aged dudes. For a D-1 coach I thought he was easy to talk to, and would discuss basketball and food with just about anybody.

The thing about this odd technique of his.....it works. I came back the next year and my defensive stance was fucking perfect. There was no way I was going to let that whale and his sweaty nuts come anywhere near my back. I stayed so low, that I made the camp All-Star team.

Jordan:

I can 100% confirm what your other reader said about Majerus sitting on kids at basketball camps. I went to the University of Utah basketball camp for two summers when I was 11 and 12 (I am now 23) with a Mormon friend of mine, and I witnessed Majerus do the exact same thing to a a couple kids each summer. During camp each day, in the morning, there would be camp-wide defensive slide drills. For maybe two of the days each year Majerus would show up, do some speaking, go from drill to drill, and walk around yelling at kids to get low during the defensive slides. Just like the other reader said, sometimes he would find a kid not getting low enough and sit on his back as the embarrased, shocked camper would try to continue until Majerus would move on to yelling at more kids; luckily, it was never me.

I also agree that it was nothing creepy or anything. In fact, I recall the kids thinking it was pretty funny, but everyone was kinda shocked and petirifed it might happen to them. We all thought Majerus was funny and cool, actually. Everyone got really good at defensive slides, at least. The whole sitting on camper thing became legend, as you would here kids talk about how they had heard about these things happening from an older relative or whatever, so I think he is pretty reknowned for that stunt, and now I know the legend lives all the way from Salt Lake to Milwaukee.

Cam:

My brother was a heavily recruited (by mid majors and lower) to play college basketball. During the recruiting process, he attended one of the various Rick Majerus basketball camps being held country wide, this one in Southern California and for high schoolers. Just like the story told in the Majerus column, my brother highly anticipated the instruction of a prominent Division I coach (Majerus still at Utah at the time), and just like the story, Majerus did not show up until day 4. However, Majerus did not come to sit on any campers or bark out orders regarding defensive slides. No, Majerus walked in half way through day 4, sat in the first row of the bleachers (probably because he couldn't climb any higher), and proceeded to remove his shoes and socks and lounge in the same spot the rest of the day. No orders. No words. Just pure, smelly bliss.

Mike:

Even when he wasn't coaching, he was prancing around nude in locker rooms.

I was a sophomore at the University of Louisville in the winter of 2006 and we were set to play UConn in mid January. ESPN was there for the game and Majerus was doing the color commentary. I'm pretty sure it is common knowledge that when Majerus was working for ESPN, he would frequent the work out facilities of the particular school he was visiting in an attempt to salvage whatever was left of his deteriorating health. The afternoon of the game, Majerus was spotted at the Ralph Wright Natatorium (swimming pool for the layman) in the lap lanes by my friend who was on lifeguard duty. I had just finished swimming my laps and was talking to some people I knew near the locker room door when Majerus emerged from the pool in swimming goggles reminiscent of Alexander Ovechkin's visor and drag shorts (drag shorts are a swimmers version of short track runner shorts).

I admit, I did want to ask him what he thought about that night's game just to say I talked shop with Rick Majerus but I let him waddle on by me into the locker room. After a couple of minutes, I too, entered the locker room and turned a couple of corners toward where my locker was only to see Majerus' bare ass and his leg hiked up in a Captain Morgan pose as he was turned towards someone else in the locker room. The problem with all of this was that his locker was one down and one over from mine. There was going to be a space related issue due to his enormous girth. I tried to walk up to my locker all unassuming of who was right next to me and reach for my lock and put my combo in one handed all while trying to avoid contact. So far so good as I opened my locker and avoided contact but then as my locker opened, Majerus turned around and said, "Can I help you?"

It wasn't the nice kind of 'can I help you' that you'd expect at some sort of store but the 'can I help you' that you would associate with the violation of the halo rule of an ego of a former head coach who never really accomplished anything other than winning in a mediocre basketball conference.

At this point, Majerus had turned his body toward me and thankfully his belly kept his johnson out of this matter. While he didn't put his fat digit in my chest, he certainly waived it around telling me to show some respect and give him his space. At this point, I didn't care what he thought about the game anymore and I grabbed my clothes and walked to a different area of the locker room while Majerus berated me for not giving him his privacy.

I would totally go out drinking with Rick Majerus.