Tired Of Same Old False Tiger Rumors? Here's A New One

In keeping with Deadspin's mission statement of "monitoring hoaxes," we are happy to report that Tiger Woods is not abusing his children.

It seems that last month someone called Florida's Department of Child Services' hotline and filed a child abuse report. Investigators visited the Woods home and found nothing to it, and now one lawmaker is blaming the media and calling for prosecution of the prank caller

The senator said she thinks a call was placed to the Florida Abuse Hotline "to keep the media celebrity attention going."

"To use the resources of the state for some grand celebrity theater is completely unacceptable," said Sen. Ronda Storms

If you want to peruse the heavily blacked-out police report, here you go. But shame on you. Shame on you and your insatiable hunger for delicious, delicious gossip.

It looks like things are looking up for Woods. First he's cleared of any allegations of abuse, and now Rihanna says she wasn't offended by a Tiger/Elin domestic violence sketch on her episode of Saturday Night Live. And to paraphrase LBJ, when you've won Rihanna, you've won Middle America.

Was Tiger Woods the victim of a false child abuse report? [South Florida Sun-Sentinel] Rihanna Finally Addresses December ‘SNL' Tiger Woods Skit: ‘It Wasn't Offensive To Me' [Access Hollywood]