In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians who, for the first time ever, have a reason to feel good about hosting the Olympics. Chin up, gang! You're good at stuff too!
Things are looking up for our northern neighbors, who just yesterday were contemplating getting 34,000,000 matching emo haircurts and enacting socialized poems about cutting. Then their hockey team suddenly remembered that they were the most talented in the world and delivered back-to-back pastings to their opponents, including Mighty Evil Russia. If that weren't enough, Sweden got upset up by Slovakia making the home team's path to the gold medal game a lot easier. And after the U.S.A.'s less-than-convincing performance against the Swiss ... let's just say they're doing very well this morning.