Looking for a bandwagon NCAA team now that yours has been eliminated? How about Tennessee? At the very least, their smooth rhymes and maddening nepotism will give you something talk about at the water cooler.
To be honest, I did not catch much of the Volunteers' game action during the first two rounds, but was intrigued after receiving these inspired emails while pulling weekend duty:
Watching this game? TN Coach Bruce PeaRL issues blatant nepotism- should be- IN "WORST individual play IN NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNEY EVER PLAYED" if we don't have it, begin similar- anyway, any shot of Pearl Jr in this game would be fine........ adios from scout
wake up and see the humor. Is everyone yet to awake there? $ to be made........................... -scout
What the hell are you trying say? Slow down and complete your thoughts, please.
A more sober reply:
My apologies. If you haven't heard the song "Drunk Talkin" by the Drunk Uncles check Utube- it pretty much sums up my state during that email. Anyway, Bruce Pearl's son plays for Dad at U of TN, and played 15 minutes during the NCAA tourney Ohio game. I guess since it was a semi-blowout it's no big deal; however he exhibited some extremely (understatement) poor play (as he has all year) which would merit a spot in any "worst individual play" compilation. Thus also the "nepotism" rant which should be self-explanatory regarding his roster spot and continuing play- the guy wouldn't make most junior high teams. Again my apologies.
I was going to say something about taking a valuable roster spot away from some more deserving lad; however his play is so breathtakingly, spectacularly terrible that it makes for great hilarity and entertainment. -scout
What "Scout" is angrily railing about is Steven Pearl, son of Bruce, Volunteer walk-on, and noted co-ed lap provider. Pearl Jr. scored only 43 points this season, but was pressed into a more active role after four teammates were suspended for their gun-toting reefer madness. It's all part of the Vols "rise above adversity" campaign that adds to their underdoggy appeal. Does Little Steven deserve his slot on the team? Who knows, but Wayne Chism certainly doesn't inspire this level of passion in viewers.
And if an incompetent coach's son isn't enough to intrigue you, how about some rapping by Orlando Woolridge's boy? I know the idea of a college sophomore dropping his athletic department-themed rhymes on YouTube sounds hilariously awful, but ... they're actually not bad. Renaldo W. can stay on the beat, the lyrics are comprehensible, and it doesn't sound like it was recorded inside a empty dumpster. In fact, his obvious professionalism makes this a lot harder to mock.
Thankfully, he raps under the name "Swiperboy" which makes me think he watches too much "Dora the Explorer." (No, more rapping, Swiperboy!) Overcoming controversy, an annoying coach's son, and rap battles? There's plenty of room on this ride, so please, "collno shoving.
Vols keep on ticking [North Jersey.com]
Tennessee unsinkable in a sea of controversy, so far [Vols Extra]
Vols have regrouped, salvaged season [Fox Sports]
It's Good to Be: Tennessee Basketball Player Steven Pearl (Bruce Pearl's Son) [The Big Lead]
UPDATE: Also ... they're a huge hit with the Jews. [Tablet Magazine]