Ridiculous Rumors Started By Internet Varmints: Delonte West Banged LeBron's Mom

Any minute now, you're going to get a "FWD: fwd: FWD" email that purports to have originated with a guy whose "uncle is the general contractor at the Q" and who has it on good authority that West is tagging LBJ's mom.

Yes, in the past two hours, many of you have sent in an email that looks exactly like this:

Subject: Please Read Lebron

My uncle is the general contractor at the Q and has been for the last 7 years. He is good friends with a lot of guys at the Q including some of the bigger boys in the organization and knows Gilbert personally. I was just told from my brother that a very reliable source informed my uncle that Delonte has been banging Gloria James for some time now. Somehow I guess Lebron found out before game four and it has destroyed our chemistry and divided our team. This is no joke, the only player worse then Lebron has been Delonte. I am not making this up, I wish it wasn't true but it happened. Wait and see if lebron stays you will not see Delonte in a cavs uni again.

Or maybe this one, in which the source has climbed the ladder all the way to David Stern's office:

A large number of NBA employees received a VERY interesting email today regarding a developing LeBron James story. I figured before the ESPN assholes get wind of it, you guys should break the story. The word from David Stern's office is that Delonte West has been sleeping with LeBron's MOTHER for a couple months now, and LeBron has recently found out. For some reason Delonte is still alive, but not for long - when Cleveland fans find out that for this reason LeBron wants out of Cleveland no matter what. This could explain Delonte's decreased playing time of late, and who knows - maybe why LeBron hasn't seemed to have his head fully in the game.

Of course, this should all sound very familiar. This time, however, it's the mother of the star player — a particularly dirty twist on the classic locker-room urban legend. Unfortunately, this one's picked up steam and become an " exclusive" for one site, even though it probably has as much basis in reality as the one about Joe Horn and Willie Roaf's wife, or Jeff McInnis and Phil Ford's wife, or Corey Fisher and Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend (or was that Scottie Reynolds and Corey Fisher's girlfriend?).

But yes — this rumor is spreading all over the place, and just remember that it is most likely coming from a bunch of 4chanish wags preying on the vulnerability all those sad Cavs fans searching for answers right now. Just for fun, we had Crashtern David Matthews call the Cavs' media relations department seeking comment. No call back yet!