We deputized AnimalNY's Bucky Turco to document the goings-on in Coney Island yesterday. This is what he came back with. ("Sorry, just woke up," he writes.)

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

We can confirm that, yes, people go to this. It's crowded, sweaty and altogether unpleasant. But it could be worse.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Okay, now it couldn't be worse.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Does this make things better? I don't know. Wait, is this even from Nathan's, or was this just left on Bucky's camera from the night before?

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

"I'd spring for a hot dog, but I'm a little short." I don't know if he used that line, but he should have.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

A pile of hot dogs before the gorging. Yes, those are flies.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Gurgitators, commence! It's exactly as interesting to watch in person as on TV.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Eventual winner Joey Chestnut looking dangerously close to barfing.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Is that barf? That looks like barf.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Yup, Barf. And a human hand.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Kobayashi protesting in the crowd.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Kobayashi preparing to jump on stage, and then this happened.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Crashtern wondering why we made him do this.

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And VomitS

Yes, they're going to do it all over again next year. With or without Kobayashi.