Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• No one likes Brad Childress.
• Joakim Noah thinks Kevin Garnett is a "very mean guy" and "ugly, too." Adrian Wojnarowski just clutched his pearls.
• Yes, yes, Tiger shot a 69.
• Jerry Jones went to Vegas and looked like something that wandered away from Madame Tussauds.
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