Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• Gilbert Arenas, who spends $5,000 a month to feed his pet sharks, was served with child support and papers at halftime of the Magic/Heat game Thursday night. The Associated Press, which first reported a process server stopped Arenas as he walked off the floor, obtained court documents regarding a California petition filed by Laura Mendoza Govan, identified as Arenas' girlfriend. The next night, he scored 10 points off the bench in his return to Washington where he once played, and where he once brandished cold steel in the locker room. [Orlando Sentinel] (H/T Choo for the sharks wrinkle.)
• Redskins owner Daniel Snyder hasn't given up on $100 million man Albert Haynesworth, for whom a warrant was issued yesterday on charges that he punched a 38-year-old man during a road-rage incident in Fairfax County, Va. [PFT] [Reuters]
• The USC nanny state banned all players from going on Everson Griffen's substantially hyped Super Bowl Weekend trip to Vegas. [ESPN]