Some of you may know Josh Elliott as the soon-to-be former co-anchor of ESPN's morning "SportsCenter". Some of you may not know him at all. If you were not familiar with his work along side Hannah Storm, you missed out. We had no idea he read our site. We really appreciate him taking the time on his last day to give us this exclusive interview over G-chat while his two-year-old daughter sat on his lap. We rip on a lot of people at ESPN but Mr. Elliott will never be one of them. He's a true gem and we hope you watch him on the
Today Show Good Morning America. Enjoy.
DEADSPIN: So, Mr. Elliott, good of you to do this. I'm impressed that you are so foolish. You do realize that Good America has close ties to those Bristol thugs, don't you? You're not completely free.
JOSH ELLIOTT: I feel confident in my ability to sit at this keyboard and maintain a sense of decorum, while duly informing. And all while Sarina sits next to me, enjoying some Yo! Gabba Gabba on DVR. The bosses have to at least appreciate the multi-tasking.
DS: Sarina. Hmm. Is that the secretary at ESPN Good Morning (or whatever it is you were a part of for however many years)? You dog!
JE: Easy. You can (and have) laid in to any number of my long-suffering colleagues...but she is, of course, the 2 1/2-year-old reason for my existence. Interesting to think: she's as old as the morning Sportscenter, almost the day. My, how it's all grown....
DS: Gross! Anyway. Moving on. Why do you think so many of your colleagues have fallen into the arms of another when they work at ESPN?
JE: An interesting question, if only because of the continuing fascination so many seem to have concerning the dating habits of a bunch of freakishly motivated folks working ungodly hours in sports-TV programming, most all of whom reside in the same relatively sedate central-CT area. (Which might be the best answer, of all.)
DS: Ah. So it is the location.
JE: As any realtor would tell you.
DS: So your new gig. Lara Spencer is your cohost?
JE: She'll be one of them...
DS: She's quite buoyant.
DS: I've heard only great things about her.
DS: And her buoyancy.
DS: She brings a lot to the table.
DS: With her buoyancy.
DS: Anyway. Will you miss Hannah? You guys had a thing, right?
JE: I'm still wondering where the question is, for the first part. (John Sawatsky would eviscerate you.) As to the second part: I will miss Hannah, tremendously. It was a remarkable almost-three-year run, and through it all...it was never boring...it was never one-note...and, arguably, almost always really, really good TV.
DS: You scallywag! We have some questions from our staff.
JE: Let 'em fly...
DS: "Would you rather let a poodle shit in your mouth or pee on a homeless person's face?"
JE: Who, exactly, is the scallywag here?
JE: Occasionally, Sarina will lean in and ask, "Daddy...what you doing?" In lieu of telling her that I'm submitting to browbeating from some guy in his mother's basement...how would you have me explain that choice?
DS: No explanation. Just pick one. I mean, me, personally, I'd take the poodle. Even though the gentleman is homeless and bathes in his own urine on a daily basis most likely, he's still a human.
JE: No matter how obvious one might find the choice to be, I'll reiterate (for the first time; is that possible?) how much I enjoy my employment, and offer my first "No comment". (Can't imagine it'll be my last.)
DS: Oh for fuck's sake. Fine. Next question.
JE: Such language, AJ...
DS: "Would you rather finger-smash a first cousin or give a tossed salad to a turtle?" (That's from Nick Denton.)
JE: Such a high-brow query from your fearless leader...truly surprising. And people wonder why Gawker Media is thought by some to render the collective discourse for the worse.
Will these evolve into "Who goes further in the postseason—Bulls or Lakers?"-type stuff. Which, if the question lists plays as an evolutionary chart, seems millions and millions of years (not to mention a meteor strike, or two) away....
JE: AJ...Sarina. Think of the child, to my right...
DS: Fine, fine. Oh here's a question. From our I-Team: "Why did everyone hate Erik Kuselias so much?"