Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He SeesS

Your morning roundup for May 4, the day we again discovered Xanadu in Jersey.

• Playoffs, playoffs, playoffs: the Lightning beat the Caps, 4-3, to take a 3-0 series lead. Tampa scored the tying and game-winning goal in a span of 15 seconds in the third period. After the game, Alexander Ovechkin guaranteed that the Caps would win the series, which is odd, because during the series to date, Bruce Boudreau's more or less guaranteed that he'll be fired. There is nothing more valiant than claiming after the game that a goal shouldn't have counted.

• Vancouver, 3-2, over Nashville, in overtime, to take a 2-1 series lead. Shea Weber had nearly half an hour of ice time, but hooked Ryan Kesler in overtime to set up a power play, during which—you guessed it—Ryan Kesler scored the deciding goal.

• In leather pumpkin action, Miami knocked the Celtics up and down the floor again, and won game two, 102-91. Apparently Kevin Garnett's legs don't work right anymore. LeBron's, however, worked pretty well, as he had 35 points, seven boards, and this block. Meanwhile, Danny Ainge looks like a broken man.

• And we learned that sometimes a Zach Randolph is just a Zach Randolph, as big ol' Z-Bo shot 2 of 13 while the Thunder got their revenge, and won, 111-102. Eric Maynor and James Harden combined for 36 off the bench. Yesterday, the Wall Street Journal wondered if Randolph had peaked, although one can imagine they weren't talking just about Sunday afternoon. Nonetheless! Series is all tied up.

Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He SeesS

• Francisco Liriano threw a no-hitter against the White Sox last night. Plenty of good news and bad news there: Liriano was debuting a delivery adjustment and at risk of heading to the minors. (Good!) His ERA is still 6.61. (Bad!) He threw it against Edwin Jackson, who disgraced the no-hitter last year by walking eight. (Good!) Liriano walked six. (Bad!) And this ESPN headline appeared right after the last out (Bad!) before disappearing shortly thereafter (Good!).

• In NBA whippersnapper news, Blake Griffin won Rookie of the Year, surprising no one but especially not anyone who watched all of these dunks. John Wall, for his part, got to attend the White House Correspondents' Dinner and meet Russell Simmons, or something.

And Jimmer got an agent! I thought usury was against the BYU honor code, but I suppose I'm mistaking it for Sharia law.

• Brewers reliever Zach Braddock hasn't been sleeping well, and his restless nights have landed him on the DL. Said manager Ron Roenicke, "This is a real thing." Braddock added, "I'm not a doctor but I'm guessing it's something I've had my entire life."

Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He Sees

Serena Williams' stalker might find himself "totally into Venus now" after Serena made the worst dressed list for her sartorial slip-up at the Met Costume Gala. Whitlock would have tweeted about how bad she looked, except he was busy inducting the Sports Fella into the black race. Like Stringer Bunk once said on HBO's The Wired, "Yeah."

• The Mets did a mitzvah, and gave away 4,000 tickets to military personnel for last night's game, and, yes, their stadium was still plenty short of capacity, and, yes, they did lose, when Aubrey Huff, in the midst of a 1-for-24 slide, thumped one into the right-field bleachers off Taylor Buchholz in the 10th. No word yet on whether the Mets will offer this promotion to military members for the duration of the Wilpons' reign.

• If there is NFL free agency, the crop will be one of the worst in the modern era, says Jason La Canfora. It's Nnamdi Asomugha, then a bunch of guys who wouldn't even make the Raiders.

• Speaking of uninspiring free agents, one Mr. Randy Moss's daughter committed to play basketball at Florida. Somehow we think she'll struggle until she starts playing lacrosse and transfers to UMass.

ESPN's Page 2 unveiled Brent Mustangburger, a Cars 2 character based on the legendary Tostitos spokesman announcer. I'm sure Disney employees get great swag when a Pixar movie comes out. You think whoever edits Page 2 got something?

HSAC superstar and sometime Deadspin contributor David Roher has created a Tumblr chronicling people angry about NBC's preempting The Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday night. I'd say something about NeNe Leakes, but I don't know who she is. Honest.

Image via Mocksession.

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Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He Sees

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