Who: Pasi Nurminen, former NHL player and Finland goalie coach.
What: The IIHF World Championship trophy, a cup with wings and now a dent.
How: Finland partied all afternoon, evening and night after taking the hockey worlds, all the way up to and including the flight back home yesterday. Nurminen looks a little unsteady coming down the stairs, and faceplants the perfectly placed trophy. (Alternate angle here.)
Who: Ajax goaltender Maarten Stekelnberg.
What: The Johan Cruijff Shield, a shiny piece of dinnerware given to the Eredivisie (Dutch league) champs over the weekend.
How: Slippery fingers, or perhaps a botched handoff. The cup appears to be undamaged and barely avoids the trailing bus, only to be scooped up by a fan who cartoonishly chases the motorcade.
Who: Real Madrid's Sergio Ramos.
What: The Copa Del Rey trophy, which has two conveniently placed handholds, never used.
How: Ramos was perhaps blinded by the smoke from nearby flares last month. This, compared to the fate of the unscathed Eredivisie trophy, shows why trophies should only be dangled from the back of the bus. The Copa was destroyed, but a replacement was at the ready.
Who: A jubilant HC Davos.
What: The David Aebischer Memorial Lucite Cylinder (not its actual name), awarded to the Swiss hockey champs.
How: Drunkenness, we assume (those beers aren't just ceremonial). Davos reacts the right way: cheers and mirth instead of abject hand-in-the-cookie-jar terror. As well they should: look at that piece of crap.
Who: Spokane Chiefs captain Chris Bruton.
What: The Memorial Cup, a bottom-heavy trophy for the Canadian Hockey League champs.
How: Now that is a face of abject terror. In front of thousands of fans of the losing team, all eyes on him...a million little pieces. Thankfully, it was only a replica awarded to the team, and the fragments were shared among the players.
Who: Billy Donovan, Florida coach.
What: "NABC Trophy," for the 2006 champion Gators.
How: Purposefully. This was a fake, concocted just for Florida's midnight madness. They would win a second (real) one that season. Well-played, Donovan.
Who: Don't know.
What: Not sure.
Who: Chris Chelios, in 1993 already in his early 30s.
What: The Norris Trophy, of which the lid is apparently a separate component. Who knew?
How: With a brief deer-in-the-headlights stare, but tossed off with a joke. This time capsule of a video proves the eternal truism that hockey players in tuxedos are the awkwardest people in the world.
Who: Pete Weber, pro bowler.
What: The US Open bowling trophy, a base surmounted by a mighty eagle.
How: Spectacularly. "People came up and grabbed pieces to take home."