Your morning roundup for June 8, the day you were warned not to follow purveyors of dong shots on Twitter. Video via tipster John.
What we watched: Just when it looked like Jozy Altidore belonged on the bench of a team in a town you've never heard of somewhere in Turkey, he goes and scores a goal and sets up another in the 2-0 United States win over Canada last night. Sure, the goal should have been stopped by the Canadian keeper. And, sure, it's Canada, not Spain, which didn't even let Altidore sniff the ball the other day. Whatever. It was nice to see Altidore doing that thing that strikers do when they kiss their wrists after they score. If he can turn himself into any sort of threat again, it'll open the field up for other players, as it did on Altidore's assist to Clint Dempsey.
The goals, with funny commentary:
Against Canada, in fact, the entire U.S. team looked great. Tim Ream and Clarence Goodsen were solid in the back. Jermaine Jones was exactly the kind of steady defensive-minded central midfielder that should be paired with Michael Bradley, who likes to go forward and has been excellent doing so. Expect more of the same dominance in the next two matches against Panama and Guadeloupe. Then expect it to stop quite suddenly, possibly with a Chicharito hat trick. (Luke O'Brien)
What we're watching: It's hockey night in North America (8 p.m., Versus), and not in the same way it was after game one or game two. Boston routed the Canucks twice—4-0, then 4-1, in the final two periods of game three Monday night. They scored as much in each period as they had in games one and two combined. The scoreless first brought consequences, too: the Bruins' Nathan Horton was knocked out for the series, and the Canucks' Aaron Rome was suspended for the Horton hit. Not only is this a series now, but it's a series jolted from of its cushy low-scoring, mostly smart-hockey baseline. Scrums, scoring, shutouts: we might just see all of it tonight. (Jack Dickey)