Hamburger Face Won't Keep This Tour De France Rider Down

Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Old Onion dummy text, but it might make an appropriate headline for any given day at this year's Tour de France, aka DeathFrance 3000.

Laurent ten Dam of the Netherlands ate it on a descent in Saturday's stage, flipping over his handlebars and going face-first into a ditch. Of course, he finished the stage with a bandage keeping his face from sliding off, saying "You don't quit the Tour because of a thick lip." I think we know how he crashed - he must have run over his enormous balls.

Ten Dam continues in the Tour de France [Cycling News]