Week seven is upon us. Is it flex schedule time yet? Let me know, down in the comments.

San Diego at NY Jets (CBS): Well, The Jets have certainly provided enough "story" "line" "material" for Nantz and Simms to discuss, in case, you know, the football game fails to cut the mustard. Rex said Norv Turner was a terrible coach. Revis said Francesa was a terrible cornerback. These statements—while obviously true—should not be said out loud, apparently. The Jets apologize for being honest jerks.

Chicago at Tampa Bay (FOX): This is what you get, England. You thought you could just burn our nation's capital to the ground and all we'd do is write some song about it that Huey Lewis and the News could one day perform? Not bloody likely. Revenge is a dish best served almost 200 hundred years later. Here it is.

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Washington at Carolina (FOX): Fictional Character Associated With the Region Game Simulator liked featuring North Carolina so much, it decided to go back-to-back. This time we get Mr. Smith going up against Frank Booth. Yikes. FCAWRGS reports that in each of the 10,000 simulations, Mr. Smith gets tossed from the Senate, mid-filibuster, for indecency when he begins to read Frank's dialogue. Carolina for the win.

Seattle at Cleveland (FOX): At least Fox has the World Series. [Remembers teams playing.] At least Fox got the World Cup.

Denver at Miami (CBS): Tebow gets his first start of the year in week seven. Such a significant number: A touchdown (with extra point, naturally), wonders of the world, minutes in heaven and deadly sins. Oh Tim, which one will apply to you?

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Houston at Tennessee (CBS): The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Atlanta at Detroit (FOX): I'm going to try some soothsaying here. This game will be tied at three with two minutes to go in the first quarter. count on it.

What You're Watching

Via The 506. CBS (Late Games Included):

FOX:

Please Rise for The (Taserless) National Anthem