Albert Pujols's Wife Is "Mad At God," The Cubs Are Looking For A First Baseman, And More From The Hot Fucking Stove

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!

• Even the baseball writers appear to be sick of hearing about the Hot Fucking Stove. Buster Olney hasn't written a blog post in a week, Jon Heyman appears to be in Disney World with his family (where he's allegedly neglecting them), and even Ken Rosenthal is wasting precious shit-throwing time trying to get himself a retweet from Seth Meyers.

• The Blue Jays are reportedly the favorites in the race to sign Yu Darvish. For all the hype he's gotten, Darvish must be excited to land outside of the major markets, where the media's expectations can get unreasonable.

• Albert Pujols's wife Deidre blamed the Cardinals' offer on God.

• Jason Kubel is taking his assorted knee and foot ailments to Arizona.

• The Cubs are taking a long look at Prince Fielder's 73-page binder.

• The Mets finally signed Frank Francisco.

• Endy Chavez is OK with losing a lot of games next year.

• The Padres are considering trading Anthony Rizzo, the crown jewel of their package in the Adrian Gonzalez trade.

• Ken Rosenthal throws some shit against the wall