AL MVP Justin Verlander Eats Like You Do When You're Drunk At 2 A.M.

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!

• Justin Verlander went on Conan last night and revealed his standard pregame meal: three Crunchy Taco Supremes (no tomato), a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, and a Mexican Pizza (also without tomatoes).

• Scott Boras is trying to talk the Yankees into investing in Edwin Jackson, who has played for six teams in eight seasons.

• The Rays signed Luke Scott to be their DH, and Johnny Damon is pissed.

• Former agent Jeff Moorad is having a some difficulty getting approved as the new owner of the Padres, but Bud Selig assures us the holdup is just "about economics."

Baseball America's Clay Davenport has figured out how Yoennis Cespedes's MLB career might play out, based on his stats in the Cuban league.

• Russell Wilson's baseball career is over, for now.

• Scott Proctor, the man Joe Torre trotted out for 102.1 innings back in 2006, will spend next season in South Korea. He'll join his new team, the Seoul-based Doosan Bears, at their offseason training in Arizona next week.

• Are the Nationals pursuing Prince Fielder, or are they not?

• Lots of teams will have shiny new uniforms this season.

• Ken Rosenthal threw no shit against the wall. We've received confirmation that he's on vacation.