AL MVP Justin Verlander Eats Like You Do When You're Drunk At 2 A.M.

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!

• Justin Verlander went on Conan last night and revealed his standard pregame meal: three Crunchy Taco Supremes (no tomato), a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, and a Mexican Pizza (also without tomatoes).

• Scott Boras is trying to talk the Yankees into investing in Edwin Jackson, who has played for six teams in eight seasons.

• The Rays signed Luke Scott to be their DH, and Johnny Damon is pissed.

• Former agent Jeff Moorad is having a some difficulty getting approved as the new owner of the Padres, but Bud Selig assures us the holdup is just "about economics."

• Baseball America's Clay Davenport has figured out how Yoennis Cespedes's MLB career might play out, based on his stats in the Cuban league.

• Russell Wilson's baseball career is over, for now.

• Scott Proctor, the man Joe Torre trotted out for 102.1 innings back in 2006, will spend next season in South Korea. He'll join his new team, the Seoul-based Doosan Bears, at their offseason training in Arizona next week.

• Are the Nationals pursuing Prince Fielder, or are they not?

• Lots of teams will have shiny new uniforms this season.

• Ken Rosenthal threw no shit against the wall. We've received confirmation that he's on vacation.