Judge John Cleland, who is presiding over the child sex abuse case against Jerry Sandusky, has issued a gag order.
Attorneys, investigators and witnesses are being told to no longer speak to the press in an effort to tame the high-profile case as jury selection and the June 5 trial approach.
Of course, the gag order is really about only one guy: Sandusky's attorney, Lawyerin' Joe Amendola, Esq. I have to say, I'll miss his particular brand of lawyerin'. He was a comic artist—the straight man who also got the funny lines. He was what Margaret Dumont was to the Marx Brothers movies, except he was Harpo Marx, too. (Or better yet: He was both Gallagher and the melon.) Watching him work was like watching a guy trying to find a new way to stuff his head up his ass. When he talked, kazoo sounds came out of his mouth.
There was the Bob Costas interview with Sandusky, which Amendola brokered and which did so much good for his client's image it might as well have been conducted in the back of an unmarked white van. There was the party Amendola threw before the preliminary-hearing-that-wasn't, which apparently led to an NBC reporter's DUI. There was the teenager he knocked up, and there was all that shit he threw at all those walls, and there was, above all, the time he suggested you dial 1-800-REALITY, a gay phone sex line. Amendola gave these grim proceedings some much-needed low comedy, and we loved him for it, even if the state judiciary didn't. Lawyer on, Lawyerin' Joe.