Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite fan mail from throughout the week. It's like Deleted Scenes, but without all the scuzz money. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.
Subject: Racism and Pit Bulls
From: Justin Ziegler
To: Drew Magary
Your FunBag today your first topic is racism and how that's bad. Then your next topic you say all pits need to be euthanized? How is that not racist against the breed. It's the owner's and breeder's that are breeding vicious blood lines that need to be put down. I have a full blood pit that I have also attached pics of that weighs 80 pounds and has not been neutered and the meanest thing he has ever done is drooled on a freshly pressed pair of slack. So don't tell people raycessm is bad and then turn around and be raycess just to try and be funny.
Subject: Been a loyal reader for years
From: Mike Coomber
To: Drew Magary
You really lost me with the "This is why all pit bulls need to be rounded up and euthanized." I'm not a pit bull owner (i've known plenty of good ones my whole life)and am fully aware that there are many a terrible pit bulls out there. However the FACT of the matter is that thug idiots love to own pit bulls and proceed to treat them like shit, and then the fact that those dogs are more likely to attack a person is in no way the breeds fault. If the same thugs all decided to start owning Labradors there would be a huge issue w/ Lab attacks. Could go deeper into why your sentence is so stupid but I'm lazy/busy and am banking on other readers enlightening you. Sux, used to look forward to Jambaroo and Funbag.
Subject: Pit Bulls - Asshole.
From: Michael LeMoult
To: Drew Magary
Dear Canine Hitler:
As a longtime reader (both Deadspin, KSK and The Postmortal) and former contributor (you posted my buffalo chicken shit story last year) I have got to say that I was mortified by your comment about pits. I know your a complete asshole who, like me, has little to no filter. But that's what I like about you. So when I tell you that you crossed a major line this week it is not coming from some pussy with no sense of humor.
Dogs, like people, can be assholes. This is not based on the breed, sexual orientation or religious preference of the dog. You know two people who were bit by pits? Well I know someone who was bitten by a lab; someone bit by a shepherd; and yes by a pit. All dogs can be assholes and can attack you, and some breeds even have more of a tendency to be mean or territorial.
But not pits. The majority are loving and friendly with strangers and children. I am sure that mine would let me me stabbed by a murderer in the middle of the night while the dog licked my assailant to death. He also plays with my cousins very young children who are constantly trying to ride him or pull his tail. And I know that you read this and say, "Well that's your dog and you're I'd course going to feel this way!" But I didn't just decide to buy my pit on a whim Drew. I bought him because I have friends with pits. I watched my dads friends pair of pits practically nanny his little children. And watched my friends pit calmly relax on the couch while we passed around joints and fed him combos and jerky. And all of these pits played well with each other as well as other dogs.
I also saw other friends little yappy dogs and labs and other terriers have behavioral issues and territorial problems with other dogs. But not my dog or any other pit I know. Michael Vick put a terrible image out there for pit bulls and a lot if terrible men have abused these poor defenseless animals for their impressive physical ability. And still more have bought them as pets and not understood the massive amount of attention and physical activity they require. This is not the animals fault anymore than a neglected or abused child is at fault for their parents actions.
I seriously doubt that you have read this far or at all. But if you have I hope that you take my words into consideration. And I really think that in the future you will think about your words before you write them. As a regular reader I expect you to comment or speak about things that you have a modicum of insight on, and clearly you have none on this subject. I don't know if you have ever had a dog. You do not seem like the type. More of a goldfish kind of guy. A pussy pet. Do your kids a favor and get them a dog. A real pet. And if they're really lucky you would get them a pit.
Sent from my iPhone
Subject: Deford Sith Lord
From: Greg Parker
To: Jack Dickey
Subject: Field of Schemes
From: Scott Toughill
To: Patrick Burns
Just wondering if your mother had any children that lived? Clearly you are a fucking brain dead moron.
Maybe have clue about sports before you write something again dumb fuck.
Do the world a favor, open mouth, insert gun, pull trigger.
Subject: Chris Cooley is Smokin' Hot in the Offseason
From: [name redacted]
To: The Staff
I guess smoking helps repair your ACL in the offseason....Captain Chaos and the 6-10 Redskins?
I have no idea how you post tips but I subscribe and love your site. This picture is from the DC101 Chili Cook Off this past Saturday in Washington D.C. In the event that you use this picture, please do not use my name. I want to remain anonymous. Thanks.
Subject: the sportswrier crap emails BS
From: Mike Kentz
To: Dom Cosentino
i dont understand the 'crap emails from a sportswriter' gig. in the lead you ask if people have ever offered 'constructive criticism only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response.' do you think that the people's emails youre posting really constitute 'constructive criticism?' cause most of the ones i've seen, like this one from gary b. to drew sharp, is not even close to constructive criticism. its more like a teenager lashing out at his parents for not letting him stay up past his bedtime. if i was a sportswriter and someone hit me up like that i would probably respond the same way. i dont really view drew sharp's responses as 'needlessly hostile,' either. if he decides to respond to something like that, the response would have to be necessarily hostile, cause youre dealing with an irrational human being.
so you know how at least one of your readers is interpreting it, it seems like you are bummed that you arent a sportswriter cause you think you can do it better than them so youre just taking potshots at them from behind the cover of deadspin. drew sharp and every other sportswriter should have the right to respond to personal attacks in whatever way they choose. and this clown gary b., if he's going to send something to you for publishing online, should have to be like 'hey this is what i look like and im a mechanic in detroit', or whatever he is. cause his emails are a joke. he shouldnt be able to force a reaction from a writer and then publish the personal correspondence online for a couple of laughs from some bitter also-ran journalists. i would recommend shuttering this series, and then re-examining your own life so you can stop being such a punk bitch. bitch.
Subject: TIP: Eli Manning is Hammered and Flirting Again
From: Kyle Waters
To: The Staff
Here is Eli doing his best fetus-face impression of Peyton. He was liquored up flirting and talking with a certain African-American female ALL NIGHT. They were inseparable. This is notable because he is not married to an African-American female. Have you guys gotten any tips that there is marital trouble in the Manning household? Supposedly he did not come with his wife. Don't know the deal, maybe the chick is just being nice and thinks he is a Special Olympian or something. He sure could pass for one.
Taken at a party off 43rd and 6th ave in NYC celebrating the Giants getting their Super Bowl rings.
Subject: Andrew Sweat's decision
From: Alice Murphy
To: Jack Dickey
You are entitled to your opinion and so am I. Since I don't write a column, I wanted you to hear my take on Andrew's decision. Mind you, Andrew doesn't need defended. I've known this young man since grade school. He and my eldest son played on opposing teams in elementary school. They were on the same team from middle school through high school. Andrew is quite an intelligent young man. He is engaging to young and old. Andrew is always respectful and makes an effort to reach out, even to the most quiet youth. Andrew is following his dream. He is doing what is in his heart. From your comment, I'm sure you just don't get it. You haven't walked in his shoes. Nor have you lived what he has lived throughout his football career. That's ok though. Andrew Sweat will be sucessful. His playing field will look different but Andrew made the best decision for Andrew. Wish him well.
Subject: Deadspin article
To: Drew Magary
Your article sucked. I dont even know why I read it, I mean I could give two shits about that Beiber kid, but I read just about everything on Deadspin. I just wanted to know why you even wrote it?
I honestly came away thinking, anything this writer thinks and says, has no validity. If you were an actor, you article would be a box office bust, and mainstream media and public opinion would laugh at your expense. Way to try and be cool and hip.
From: Brad Wagner
To: The Staff
I only email blogs when I'm extremely drunk so everything is fine. I don't even know who Patrick Kane is but I gather he plays soccer for the Canadian Iceholes. So he likes to drink but what of it? You guys have lost your way.
From: Anthony Ramos
To: Barry Petchesky
Hi Barry, I saw your recent article on bats and thought you might be interested in learning about our grant for research on White-Nose Syndrome. See our news wire release here: U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service Grants Funds White-Nose Syndrome In Bats
Let me know if we can set up a time to speak.
Anthony Ramos | EcoHealth Alliance
Subject: tea bag
To: The Staff
With about 20 years experiences in producing the tea bag packing machine, we are offering the high quality machines.
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Suitable for the resturant and etc
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min 4.5x5.5 cm & maximim 5.5x6.5 cm packing sizes
packing weight range 1.5 to 2.5 fo the tea and upto 10 grams for the salt or other granual type material
It could not pack the powder form materials
it use the filter type paper or the heat sealing films
Payam industrial machinery Group
Notable Facebook comment thread
We posted a link to this item:
This is what happened.
Tukai Sen How is that sad? He has the best healthcare. Google images of small pox if you want sad.
Jarid Tadych Really! Sad, when a soldier dies it's sad. When a million dollar athlete gets hurt tough shit. Get over it dumb fucks.
Alvin Davis Sad? There a millions of people unemployed with absolutely no Healthcare. This guy has the best care and is 80 mil richer. We should all be as lucky as Derrick.
Chris McMurry This may prove to be the most unpopular Deadspin post ever.
Alan Tompas Sad is when you have serious knee problems and no health insurance..welcome to my life.
Harley Alderson some of you people ought to get the fuck over yourselves your blasting them for this post but you little bitches cry when you get a cold or an ingrown toenail and want everyone sattention so shut the hell up you hypocrites who asked for your opinions anyways
Michael Tomeo Enough with the "it could always be worse" crap. WE KNOW, DUH.
Nick Piccone Uh, the post said looks so much more sad. And it is. A basketball star in his prime using a walker. That's fucking sad, you idiots.
Katie Hart To be fair, they're a sports-reporting site. It wouldn't really be worth subscribing to if they were always all nihilistic about their own specialty. Like, "oh, Lebron had a bad night last night, but, you know, my neighbor's daughter has Down Syndrome, so who gives a fuck, but here's a clip if you're a terrible person who dares devote time to something other than the suffering in the world."
Tony Iliakostas SERIOIUSLY?!?!?!
Paul Escamilla it is sad. its sad for Rose, for Bulls fans, for the people of chicago, for basketball fans everywhere. Sick people without health insurance, even sadder. And unjustifiable!!
Harley Alderson and to the one talking about people not having jobs. this is derricks job playing basketball just because he has millions now dont mean anything. if this fucks his career up what good are the millions going to be once its all burned through. you people are just jealous jackasses acting like athletes arent human
Dewan Savage People need to lighten the fuck up. Seriously, we all know there's things in life sadder than this, and the guy's still a millionaire who's gonna make even more millions. But it's 'sad' in a funny way to see a world class athlete need a walker to get around. That's obviously what they meant, not that this is the saddest thing on Earth.
Luke Trayser Dear uninsured on Facebook,
Step 1: Log off
Step 2: Get job
Sean Derby It's sad because it makes him look like a huge sissy. I'm recovering from the same injury and never had a walker and 2 helpers. He should man up and be grateful for his absurdly good rehab facilities and the constant doctor/therapist to make sure he doesn't fuck himself up again. Me? I got a fancy rubber band and a slap on the back. Don't be sad for Derrick Rose, be sad for the rest of America who isn't him but has to deal with the same shit he does with lesser materials to work with
Nick Piccone Yep, because all ACL tears are the same and affect people the same exact way.
Mamoon Iqbal its sad because no one is invincible...even mighty arrogant players can not outsmart mothernature, God, karma, whatever higher force wanna u call it..He worked hard, has talent and it is reality check that one simple twist and a mighty player becomes like an old man.
Nick Piccone I guess it's cool to blame Rose for needing a walker, I guess his doctor didn't have anything to do with it.
Mike Polychronis Could you commenters please put it into context? They're not talking about it being sad compared to world events or other people's health.
Tyler Wharton If you are gonna get your panties in a bunch over posts than you probably shouldn't be reading deadspin.
Don Moldy Sean ... You're a fucking self centered jealous whiney bitch. If I had his talent I'd be using a walker and anything else my Dr and trainers recommended. You have no talent and cheap care so you don't need it. Dumbass.
Jacky Ky nothing is sad about millionaires..they can always recover with their money.
Trevor Baker Sacrificing for that which you love is never a bad thing
Trevor Baker @Jacky....word to life yo'
He'll recover alot faster than the average man who suffered the same injury
Jessica Peglow McCartney When did Deadspin become the Social Justice olympics? There are degrees of sad and sadness can encroach on all aspects of life. A kid dropping a brand new ice cream cone can qualify as sad. The saddest thing in the world? No. Did anyone say this was SADDER THAN ANY OF THE PROBLEMS FACING ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING TODAY? No. If you're looking at Deadspin to be an even handed presentation of world events...that's sadder than anything else in this thread.
Andrew D. Thomson Still getting into a Rolls Royce or Maserati or something like that, can't feel too sad. That Adidas contract should also keep him happy through his rehab.
Alan Tompas Dear Luke..you have no clue about the real world..none..
Colin Campbell All that hate is going to eat you people up.
Daniel Rydl Thank you Deadspin. I love you.
Pablo A. Rajczyk So much more sad? Do you mean sadder?
Aj Salas Harley Alderson is a complete fucking idiot...if you manage to burn thru 80 mil in a lifetime then you're not only fucked, but a complete retard.
Mark Les It's called a walker/assistive device, used for anyone of any age (even athletes!) after a serious lower body injury. I fucking hate Deadspin. Lame-ass shitty website w/boring, shitty unworthy news stories.
Related: Please follow us on Facebook!
Notable Twitter Fanmail
— Carl R. (@TheFakeAlbert) May 15, 2012
— Ben Sherman (@bensherman01) May 14, 2012
[Ed. note: "the city" in question is Cincinnati.]