Watch This Girl Crush A Red Bull Can Using Only Her Shoulder Blades

People ... this video. THIS VIDEO. I don't even know what to say. Reader Kenneth attempts to provide context:

We were out at Mad River in Philly last night, and I guess this girl thought this would be a good pickup technique on my buddy... we are still disturbed & emotionally fragile today. The girl was so proud.

Let's hope this doesn't happen to another person again.

Look at how red her shoulder blades are! She's been doing that all night! GAHHHHHHHHHHH! Those are demon wings!

Seriously though, do not try and do this. You will murder yourself.