Ooh, 20 yards per catch? You know what that does to me, even if it is against a Conference USA team. God, that crop top/shoulder wrap combo should be illegal. What's that? The quarterback broke his arm? Tell him to take an Aleve, I'm busy here. Mmm, so busy. You must be tired, Bruce. You've been running 4.4 40s through my mind all night. Go sit down for a bit. I mean, I hate to see you go, but I do love to watch you walk away. They say you're probable for next week, but let me just file this memory away and I'll be definite for later tonight.

You play basketball too? Christ, I just ovulated.