Australian Rugby League Star Gets Drunk, Pees On Couch, Pretends To Fuck A Dog

American sports scandals are so boring.

Mitchell Pearce, a 26-year-old halfback for the NRL’s Sydney Roosters, is in a bit of trouble this morning after the emergence of a video showing him intoxicated at a house party, attempting to kiss a woman, and once he’s rebuffed, simulating sex with her small dog as she repeatedly asks him if he pissed her couch.

The footage aired on the show A Current Affair, and was reportedly filmed yesterday, toward the end of Australia Day celebrations. Some choice quotes from Pearce:

“I’ll fuck that dog, I don’t give a fuck, I don’t have a sexuality,” Pearce says at one point. Later on: “I wanna fuck your dog, I don’t even care anymore.”

In a brief statement, the Roosters said they’re aware of the video and will investigate. Pearce might have a shorter leash than most; in 2013 he was fined and suspended after being arrested at a Sydney nightclub.

The NRL continues to amaze. Please have this background, from the Guardian’s writeup:

The incident is the latest in a string of controversies for the league.

In 2010 Canberra Raiders star Joel Monaghan stood down after he admitted to simulating a sex act with a teammate’s dog, an incident that was photographed and posted on Twitter.

In 2014, Cronulla star Todd Carney had his $650,000 per year contract torn up after a photo of the player urinating into his own mouth was posted on social media.