Last week I went on Chopped and won and everyone made fun of my shirt, because you people are SOULLESS JACKALS. Anyway, bossman Tim Marchman had a few questions for me about this shirt, mostly so that he could discover new avenues for mocking it. And so I am ready to answer those questions—along with a few other Chopped inquiries— on this week’s Deadcast.

But that’s not all! After jacking myself off talking about being on the teevee, we explore Christine Brennan’s attempt to pen the single worst Masters column ever written (seriously, it’s puke). We also speculate on the Aaron Hernandez verdict, answer a horribly inappropriate Funbag question about ISIS, and break down the remarkable beef between a French writer and some dude wearing a spiky bracelet .

If you have anything you’d like to hear discussed on the revived podcast, just send it in to tips@deadspin.com with the subject line DEADCAST. You can listen to the show here or download it over at the iTunes store.