Screencap via Stonehill Athletics

Division-II Stonehill faced a tough challenge yesterday against third-ranked Adelphi, but they got some unbelievable help from the right foot of one Connor O’Brien, who scored the game’s first two goals in the opening 13 minutes from eye-popping range with pinpoint accuracy.

Stonehill went on to lose, 3-2 (Adelphi had a nice long-distance goal of their own), but O’Brien’s cracking golazos were, to steal from Ray Hudson, “a wet dream of orgasmic proportions.”