Donald Sterling: I Was Only Saying Racist Things To Get Laid

Donald Sterling should probably go ahead and assume everything he says is being recorded. In the past two days, two recordings of Sterling talking to a friend on the phone have popped up on Radar Online. In both, he insists he's not racist, and tries to justify the leaked audio that got him pushed out of the NBA. In the latest, he gets a little gross.

"I'm talking to a girl. I'm trying to have sex with her," Sterling says, shattering records for the unsexiest thing you've ever heard. (You can hear the audio at Radar.)

"I'm trying to play with her. If you were trying to have sex with a girl and you're talking to her privately and you don't think anybody's there, you may say anything in the world, what difference does it make?...

"The girl is black. I like her. I'm jealous that she's with other black guys. I want her. So what the hell? Can't I in private tell her, 'I don't want you to be with anybody?'"

V. Stiviano has maintained that she never had sex with Sterling, which seems odd, but in these tapes Sterling doesn't sound like a guy who was getting it on the reg.

But then Sterling puts "being photographed with black guys" right up there among the classic boasts meant to seduce a woman, and we're less surprised his tactics didn't work.

"You're trying to play with her, and you might say anything. You might say you have the biggest penis in the world! I would have said I could fly over a high rise building if I had to!"

Now you that you've heard Donald Sterling say "penis," there's really not much more to accomplish this week. Go home; you've earned it.

[Radar Online]