This is what we get for having two weeks before the Super Bowl. Stern questions at press conferences over the size and firmness of balls. Unironic tweets explicitly comparing the NFL's investigations to actual police work, despite the fact that last September, we received a big lesson about why it's unwise to hold up Roger Goodell and the league to the standard of an actual justice system. Mark Brunell choking up on ESPN and suggesting that maybe Tom Brady—gasp—isn't telling the truth. About his balls.

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It's about integrity. In balls. There's a tremor in Mark Brunell's voice as he tells the rest of the panel, "I just didn't believe what Tom Brady has to say." Do me a favor: If you watch this video and find yourself genuinely touched by Brunell's thoughts, please throw away every electronic device you have and move to the most remote part of whatever country you live in.

[ESPN]