Mets phenom Matt Harvey was a guest on the Dan Patrick Show this morning, and he was not the ideal interview subject. Patrick wanted to talk about Harvey's elbow injury and the looming possibility of Tommy John surgery—you know, baseball stuff—but all Harvey wanted to do was be a pitchman for some dumb phone thing called Qualcomm. I mean, he really wanted be a good pitchman.

Either Qualcomm is paying Harvey $10 billion to be their spokesman, or he just doesn't realize that "pitchman" and "shill" don't mean the same thing. This gives us a good idea for a new Jimmy Fallon bit, though: Matt Harvey stopping people on the street and explaining to them the wisdom of investing in gold.