ESPN’s Nick Wagoner has a fun story about Rams defensive end William Hayes, who is presented as the team’s resident merry prankster. The highlight of the story is when Hayes shares his thoughts on dinosaurs:
“No, I don’t believe dinosaurs existed,” Hayes said last month. “Not even a little bit. With these bones, it’s crazy because man has never seen a dinosaur, we can agree on that, right? But we know exactly how to put these bones together? I believe there is more of a chance you will find a mermaid than you will a dinosaur because we find different species in the water all the time.
“I don’t understand how [Long] just believes in dinosaurs. That’s just crazy to me. We know they died. We know what a T-Rex eats? That don’t sound crazy to you? We have never seen a dinosaur before but we know exactly where every single rib [was] and which rib goes where. That’s crazy to me.”
Try to read that without compulsively stroking your chin in a display of deep contemplation. You can’t!