Yesterday was Woman Crush Wednesday on Twitter, so Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson decided to offer an encomium to the light and love of his life, Ciara:

(As always when Russ tweets about Ciara, you should read all the replies. They never fail to be the most savage things you’ve ever seen in your life.)

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What a sweet little note! Now I am convinced that Russell Wilson not some sort of uncanny-valley A.I. experiment, and is an actual human being with human thoughts and feelings.

Until:

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GODDAMNIT, RUSS. You googled “How to describe a beautiful woman,” didn’t you? And copy-pasted from the first site that came up. Goddamnit.

Just...goddamnit, Russ.

Update: He did it again. Goddamnit!

Shot:

Chaser, from the same damn website: