Deadspin
Say what you will about Australian Rules Football — and we know you have much to say! — but you can't say they don't know how to appropriately trash talk.
WEST COAST EAGLE Adam Selwood is expected to tell the AFL tribunal tonight he was punched by Des Headland before any words were exchanged, as he defends a charge he taunted the Fremantle player with sexually explicit remarks about his six-year-old daughter.
Selwood is expected to concede that, after Headland hit him, he motioned to the tattoo the Dockers forward has of his daughter Madison on his left arm, but will deny knowing it was a picture of the six-year-old or that he made the comments attributed to him by Headland. Instead, it is believed Selwood will say he had recently had sex with a woman who held a similarity to the tattoo. This differs from Headland's complaint, which alleges Selwood motioned to the tattoo and said: "I fucked her last night."
Charming! You know what we have to say about that:
We don't know what it means, but we're saying it!
He Hit Me First, Says Selwood [The Australian]
Comments
Star and Buckwild have a radio opening for this guy in NYC.
STRoll +1
Mate, mate, football, mate, mate.
They show this stuff over here all the time, and I was actually watching a replay of this whole incident last night. I honestly thought the punch was just part of a well scripted play, since, you know, it is Australian Rules Football...
I think it's semaphore for ####...
Oh, and FYI. The West Coast Eagles offseason made the Cincinatti Bengals look like choir boys...
Even PacMan would have been embarassed...
its mandatory to have 12 or 13 fosters before you read that.
God, I love Aussie Rules Football. Such hot men. Such shorts shorts.
Crikey!
Chris Hansen would like a word Adam Selwood
And now... the semaphore version of Wuthering Heights
In Australia, they cheer, "Go the [name of team]" instead of "Go [name of team]". Go the Roos, for instance. That always fascinated me.
I could go for a double fist of VB and Toohey's Old right now.
What is the Monopoly guy doing with those flags?
I had thought that a simple headbutt would be a more appropriate reaction to such a comment...
Why ESPN shows 12 hours of poker a day and zero of this I'll never understand.
In Selwood's defense, Jacko Jackson told him this would be a good idea.
@StevieY19: I thought it was one of the Guinness guys.
Brilliant!
@Spectacular Sam:
Once they have a financial interest in the league you won't be able to get away from it.
@Spectacular Sam:
Cheerleading championship instead of rugby. I hate them.
@Spectacular Sam: I said the same thing yesterday. Why the hell are we forced to watch ESPN coverage of Paintball? Why the hell doesn't CBS launch a Sportsline Channel and start running stuff like this and Rugby?
@Spectacular Sam:
Affirmed. Not to mention people playing fucking video games instead of this. Aussie Rules is the balls. When I used to have Fox Sports World, it would occasionally be on live overnight.
Chris Hansen would like to have a word with Selwood.
@Encouraging Referee Pittman: Mmm, Tooheys.
Headland's response to the taunt: "You want some pizza now?"
Fat guys playing poker- yes.
Rugby- No.
Fuck you, ESPN, FSN, etc
This sorta makes Materazzi look like a pussy cat.
@Encouraging Referee Pittman: Fo'reel. I'm 31, so I'm old enough to remember the days when ESPN could afford to show was Aussie Rules Football, intergalactic hackysack, and slow pitch softball.
I always loved Aussie Rules and constantly dreamt about playing it when I got older. Sadly, I took a different fork in the road and ended up with bong hits and dreaming about being on The Price Is Right. Que sera, sera.
I don't know... Australia was founded by a bunch of convicts. Maybe it's legal over there to date 6 year olds. Perhaps the puncher was upset that his daughter put out and never got a call back.
Alright- that was over the line. Sorry.
Australian Football is shown on some wack-ass channel Friday nights here in DC. It is a quality pre-game viewing experience.
That Gary Glitter song they play at arenas really pumps Selwood up.
Can I get a ruling on this, referee Mills Lane?
"Hmm. I'll allow it."
@HeavyPettingZoo: OVER THE LINE!
@Spectacular Sam: So you'll look back longingly on the early days of tWWL when they would show rugby and CFL games, and other actual sports. They're giving you the gift of nostalgia for the time when they didn't suck.
@MitchKayak:Get out of my head please.
If the field has grass... play Rugby on it...
@Ron:
Mark it zero!
If I had musical talent, one of the things I'd want to name my band would be Market Zero.
Also, I did have the good fortune of attending an Aussie Rules game first thing after stepping off the plane in Melbourne, half-delirious from the flight. A full-crowd chant of "Carey is a wanker!" has to rank among my favorite crowd experiences.
That's what he gets for having such a sexy six year-old
in the NBA the common response to "I fucked your 6 yr old daughter last night" is "which one?".
Even AFL players watch House.
How long before we see snorgtees girl with an "YOUR SIX-YEAR OLD GOES TO COLLEGE" shirt on. Midriff exposure and ridiculous smile included, of course.
Seriously, any guy who plays Australian Rules Football with a visible tattoo of his six-year old daughter HAS to be expecting taunts like that.
Actually, that picture is inaccurate...they only hold up one arm when a player scores a "behind", as Selwood claims to have.
Since none of the other Ladies... have stepped up: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Superb Mr Masher.
@Stev D: Any idea which channel?
Ahhh, that takes me back to the good ol' days of ESPN. Nothing but Aussie Rules and tractor pulls. And back then, Bob Ley looked like...wait, he looked exactly the same. Fucking robot.
Oh, and can we start a petition to get Setanta Sports on Time Warner? That's the network that's hogging all the rugby now. I'd like to not have to pay $15 to watch a Six Nations game thru my computer.
@Encouraging Referee Pittman: One of the better days of my life started with the same at the MCG. It ended with my standing in line to get into a club at 8 THE NEXT MORNING. Or rather that was the beginning of the end.
Fucking Aussies... those people know how to live.
[/self-indulgent nostalgia]
And I was always more partial to Julius Caesar on an Aldis lamp
@Clare: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
That's what she said. Wait...
@Fios:
It's MHZ. Channel 205 in D.C.
Also, if it's cricket or rugby you're after, there's a bar near my place that always has one or the other on TV - Solly's Tavern. 11th and U. I'm the drunk redhead at the end of the bar.
Instead, it is believed Selwood will say he had recently had sex with a woman who held a similarity to the tattoo.
So he will cop to having fucked a six-year-old, just not one for which he expected to get punched by Headland? Bold defense.
I played 4 years of Aussie Rules, and those kinds of comments are par for the course. They can get away with it b/c they fight each other with their fists. Imagine an O-Lineman saying that to Joey Porter, or vice-versa to Kyle Turley? The offender would probably have their head blown off by a shotgun on their way to the team bus.
The AFL tribunal just ruled: two of them will hold Selwood down while Headland beats the living shit out of Selwood. Don't be shocked, though; this is also how they adjudicate traffic violations.