Deadspin
We watched that new ESPN show "E-60," or whatever the correct nomenclature is, and you know what? It's not so bad.
The E-Ticket section on ESPN.com has always been one of the stronger elements of the site, and the show, while occasionally lapsing into the same soft-focus weeper segments that permeate Chris Connelly's "reports," trades off it well. Jeremy Schaap's Cecil Fielder story was fascinating; it was hard not to feel bad for the guy, even if he probably has a lot of it coming. Even Rachel Nichols' segment on gambling was well-done, and she didn't once ask how the bookies were "feeling." We even like the "reporter explains his/her story" black-and-white newsroom footage; it's kind of a clever riff on the "Real Sports" studio segments where Bryant Gumbel interviews Frank Deford. A little of Schaap's This Is An Important Story And I Am Saying Important Things voice goes a long way, but on the whole, not a bad show.
Bill Simmons' segment at the end, in which he plays one-on-one with Paul Pierce while wearing a motion capture suit, wasn't an embarrassment either, though we question the appropriateness of following four serious investigative stories with a man in spandex joking about ruining his "career."
But look! See! An ESPN show we kind of liked! We're fair!
Comments
But did Rachel Nichols blink? These are the important questions.
The still in the video is taunting me, like watching a faces of death video. You know you don't want to, but there's something inside that wants to know that horror.
Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights
Ummm, no thank you.
I thought I knew you, Will.
@Phony Gwynn: Also, did she look good? Rachel Nichols is the ultimate Two-Face.
Well at least we can get an accurate measurement of the tent he pitched while around Paul Pierce.
We also know that Bill Simmons could be the uncut part in a male docking experience.
Bill Simmons wearing a Golden State Warriors T....
Sports Poligamist?
@Phony Gwynn: As long as she still says, "E-S-P-AHHHHHHN," I can accept her no-blinking
He had a wide stance in that stall.
"The suit absorbs most of the drips"
Then why is he still here ?
But it's not even Extreme Male Cameltoe Thursday!
This has to be the gold standard of Boston area douchebaggery.
I must agree that the Simmons segment was good. Although, you could barely hear him talk. He must be a bit self-conscious about his voice. I wonder why.
My favorite Jeremy Schaap moment was when he jumped out and ambused Jim Harrick. Harrick said "You'll never be the reporter your father is"
Bill's not even the biggest douche in the video thanks to the EA intern wearing wristbands.
Did he sweat opening that door?
That video just broke the network here at MSP. I hope you're happy Will.
Maybe they are trying to copy the 60 Minutes formula where they have the various segments that are usually serious in nature and have Andy Rooney or whoever does the close now with sort of a lighter segment.
The Simmons segment was excellent. He was actually very funny in it. And the scenes at the end from the video game are every sports fan's dream. I'm jealous that Simmons got to do that.
/threadjack
Bob Hartley fired from Thrashers
That clip made me think of thanksgiving.
@Matt_T: Didn't Bobby Knight tell him the same thing?
And no thanks on the douchebag in tights video.
@UkraineNotWeak:
I actually like Simmons just a tiny bit again after seeing this. He seemed like a normal guy excited to get a chance to hang out with a player from his favorite team.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns:
You work for the Michigan State Police?
I would like to jump out from behind something and scare the fucking shit out of Jeremy Schaap. Something tells me he would have a hilarious arm-flailing-high-pitched-shriek reaction.
@Da_Mang: Harrick probably stole it.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: You're a Member of the Scottish Parliament? Or do you work at the Maine State Prison?
@Barry Lutz: Agreed, I am totally jealous that he got to do something like that. And yes, @BigTenObsession:, the segment did seem to make him a bit more likeable.
whats the attraction of putting Simmons in the game? Do teenagers really have a desire to be an over-rated sports columnist in a basketball game? Why not put like Batman in the game or something? At least then it would be cool when you committed a foul. What's Simmons going to do? Make over-used pop culture quips at the opposing defenders?
Old SSW
It's gonna suck
New SSW
It sucks less than we thought.
@BigTenObsession:
What I mean by the gold standard is that this is every Boston area fans dream. What they hope to achieve via their fandom.
@The Fan's Attic: We are now Groundskeeper Willie-less in the avatar dept. That makes me sad.
@Rob Iracane: Or Massive Mooseknuckle Monday.
England lose 2-1 to Russia, chances of Euro '08 qualification are now slim-to-none.
/threadjack
@Hit Bull Win Steak: Many teenagers who play video games and live with their parents grow up to be adults who play video games and live with their parents.
In other words, Bill Simmons's audience.
I too was mildly surprised that I watched the entire 60 minutes of that show. I actually think my roommate shed a tear during the UNC mascot story. Pretty interesting stuff overall (also a big fan of the black and white "Producer's Meeting")
Oh, and I never really heard the full Cecil-Prince story, but if that segment was unbiasedly (new word!) true, then damn that Prince is a real cocksucker.
@Hit Bull Win Steak: They are simply carrying on the tradition established by NBA Jam for the Genesis, in which you could play as George Clinton and Al Gore.
There's nothing I like more than staged editorial meetings shot in faux cinéma vérité.
Like oh my god! Simmons is a Valley Girl.
And I missed the rest of the show - did they get to the bottom of the missing bike rack mystery?
@Phony Gwynn: I'm sorry...I was going through a Cookie Monster phase. I have already been made aware of the disappointment of no Groundskeeper Willie. I am working to remedy this situation.
"Is this thing going to stretch out?"
"I don't feel wet, but I just feel moist."
The "That's What She Said" meter just exploded.
Man, EA really overbuffed Simmons.
Check that, Simmons is 8 year old playing Y ball. Kevin McHale drives the lane. I'll be Raja Bell, you be Paul Pierce. We win the Championship!
Hello, God?
It's Chamomiles Davis. I know we haven't spoken in a while, but this is very important.
Please, with all the power you can muster, do NOT let the Celtics get within sniffing distance of the 2008 Finals. Failing that, and they should go on to win the championship, please strike Bill Simmons blind in both eyes seconds before the game-winning shot.
In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign...
Thy will be done.
Overall I thought it was a good first effort. I thought the MNW story was a bit of a hatchet job. The reporter let the mother in the case imply that it was a case of coercion on the part of the RB. He also never asked her why she never went directly to the police herself. I don't get why the school employees are expected to go to the cops when the mother herself didn't. He should have asked why she didn't. Sad story either way.
That aside - the other segments were well done. The mascot story was touching, in spite of that it seemed designed to be so. Simmons has sort of a recessed chin thing going on. It looked like he was having as much fun as you can in that sort of get-up.
Any bets on how far out we are from a Wii accessory in the form of a mo-cap suit that could do this in real time? Because that would be the coolest shit ever.
Did anyone else notice that Simmons is a grown man who can't dribble behind his back? Shouldn't he have the "Sports" part of his title removed for something like that?
No, really, do they have television programs in Quebec? And how much do those mo-cap suits cost anyway? I want a mariachi suit mo-capped.
funniest thing about all this hostility toward bill simmons at deadspin is you're here at a site which writes with the same kind of informal irreverance he writes with - except he started it... and yet he sucks...?
simmons still has his fastball. baseball blog from last night being exhibit a. have fun, kids.
@Matt_T: Sacre bleu!
I am forever flummoxed by the fact that a man named Bob Hartley is a Francophone.