Deadspin
The Realests are going bonkers this morning over their latest discovery, but we have to say that we do not find this funny at all. What is so hilarious, after all, about a college football player named Lucious Pusey? (Roman guard begins to giggle). Centurion, why do they titter so? Just because I say ... Lucious Pusey? (Guards break up in gales of laughter). OK, we're done referencing the film Life of Brian. From The Realests:
We didn't think Jim Bob Cooter or Kyle Sackrider could be topped. But they have — by a mile. We've been informed of the Eastern Illinois (Division I-AA) Panther formerly known as Lucious Pusey.
Before we get too excited, the player in question has evidently legally changed his name to Lucious Seymour. And we say we get together and make him change it back.
A Seperate Tribute To Lucious Pusey [The Realests]
Comments
I'm not calling any dude Lucious Pusey.
I'm a grown-ass man, dawg.
Is this a bad time for a Roots reference?
I loved their second album.
"What's so funny about Biggus Dickus? I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus!"
Didn't someone already point out Lucious during the whole Destiny Frankenstein thing?
My name isn't TOBY!
apparently not mmp
I am going to guess that Seymour was his choice because it was his middle name... so in that case, dropping his first name and going by his middle, while a slight improvement, wouldn't help him out too much
Yep, I found it. And you thought your mind was chock full of useless dogshit.
seymour
lucious
pusey
This is why some people should not be parents. That is just mean! Giving your kid a porn-name from birth... even strippers are allowed some dignity in their "real" names!
Oh goodness. There's a chance my brother will play against Eastern Illinois this fall. I must be in attendance.
Drew, that was fucking AWESOME. Can't belive this fucker's running from destiny.
Do you think that big Pine there ever penetrated the hole opened by Lucious Pusey?
At least that Lucious Pusey is groomed neatly.
That's his porn name...how'd that get in the media guide?
Still, he's not as manly as this guy. Seriously.
funny, that's how some guys described one of the cheerleaders in high school...lucious pusey
I'm still trying to score with that NYC sportswriter. Just hoping Captain Caveman doesn't get there first.
Juancho - fantastic Kentucky Fried Movie reference.
Good show Drew. Beat me to the punch. That's what I get for trying to do an ounce of work.
soozycue wins
Nevermind Lucious, did you see the two rednecks on his team behind him? Straight from the trailer-park. Tyler Pine looks like an extra out of Deliverence.
He will be an awesome pro. It's axiomatic now that the more ass-kickable your name, the better pro. Dick Butkis, anyone?
er, butkus.
Lucious Pusey has no place on the football field.
I didn't know Rick James and Price had ever mated...
His mom's name is Devine.
So, not trying to change the subject, just curious. How many people ate burritos or other tex-mex food today?
Could be worse. It's not like he's named Juicy Vagina.
LOL Hustler.
Had a breakfast burrito at McD's; it's the red-headed stepchild of the burrito family.
Do you think that big Pine there ever penetrated the hole opened by Lucious Pusey?
If you read, Pine is on the OL, Pusey a LB. Which means that in scrimmage you could, theoretically, have Pine lined up against Pusey.
Anybody remember Hary Colon from the Detroit Lions? Later in his career, he tried to get people to pronounce it like Bartolo's surname. He failed. If only he thought to get a Brazilian, all would have been well.
Nobody can ever top Rusty Kuntz (no pun intended)
I hear his brother, Harry, is a beast.
Damnit. Me no typey Harry so good.
Back to my job of editing a medical magazine. Really.
Well that one is pretty good, but not quite as good as the head coach of the womens basketball team at Seton Hall...Phyllis Mangina! You can't make it up.
http://www.shupirates.com/sports/wbball/bio.asp?PLAYER_ID=...
Come on Professor, that's Brandon Routh in drag.
He's also the answer to a trivia question: "What's the exact opposite of Paris Hilton?"
Professor-
There's no way I can go for the record time for masturbation - 8.5 hours - after seeing that picture.
Doing my best Sean Connery:
"Young man, you shay you're named Lushcious Pushey? Named after your mother are you?"
this young man has just broke into my top three athlete names of all time
1. World. B. Free
2. Lucious Pusey
3. Baskerville Holmes
On the contrary, Jakob, that pic is climax-delaying gold.
The Professor has uncovered quite a specimen in Mz Mangina. I'm reminded of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry's girlfriend has "Man Hands". Phyllis looks like she could be in posession of a "Man-gina" and not a Luscious Pusey.
This stuff is all coming together you know.
Yes...but when he bleeds. Does he have the ability to attract Bears?
Harvey Twatpounder Jr.
Pimp:
Nice 007 pull. One of my favorite James Bond lines, ever.
Knots, you forgot God Shamgod.
BigT - good to meet a fellow Bondite. Nobody could pull off a Bond-line like The Connery. Roger Moore lapsed into parody (Moonraker anyone?), Timothy Dalton seemed to believe the whole enterprise was beneath him, while Pierce Brosnan is just too smug for his own wee booties. Here's hoping the next one is better.
Bond: "An unusually fine Solera sherry. A '51 I believe."
M: "There's no year for sherry 007".
Bond: "I was refering to the original vintage on which it was based, 1851."
i'll take four whore semen for $1000 alex.
oh, my god!!! you mean "four horsemen" sean?
I'll take credit for the initial link about the former Mr. Pusey.....I worked at a local newspaper down here in South Florida when he was plying his trade on the high school gridiron. He will be sorely missed.....
SOOO if he married Bond Girl Pussy Galore,would the kid be Lucious Pussy Galore OR Seymour Pussy Galore???
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