College Football, michigan state spartans, notre dame fighting irish

Pucker, Pucker, Pucker

When I first downloaded this clip and started to listen to it, I saw that it was over 15 minutes long, and I thought, "Eh, it's probably not worth it." And for a couple of minutes, it wasn't. And then this guy Michigan State radio guy begins the ~~slow~~ rapid descent into madness.

This happened shortly after Michigan State's loss to Notre Dome, and I can't tell if this fellow is losing his voice, or if he's actually crying. And honestly, by the time it was over, I felt like crying, too. This guy actually brought me into a deep depression about Michigan State football, and I could give a rat's ass about Michigan State football.

But this man was so dire, so depressing, and so serious about Michigan State's loss to Notre Dame, than when he was done, I felt like I had just watched Schindler's List. I looked around the Internet to see if there was some kind of a foundation to which I could donate to help out the Spartans.

I think my favorite parts were when his co-host/partner tried to jump in at the 5:00 mark, and tried to stop him for the sake of his own mental health. Or when he started screaming about how he did his job to help the team win. Or how Michigan State's offensive coordinator is "the single worst offensive coordinator ever born into this world."

The audio is after the jump, and I apologize for the fact that it sucked balls. Odeo had always been good to me in the past. But it's been replaced.

MSU Radio Host Melts F—king Down On the Air [The House Rock Built]

MP3 File

1:13 PM on Sat Sep 30 2006
By MJD
5,734 views
31 comments

Comments

Slugworth at 01:03 PM on 09/30/06
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Even if HR Pufnstuf was available I don't think his style really fits the college game.
soozycue at 01:07 PM on 09/30/06
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let's take a shot everytime he says "choke job".

yep, you're wasted in like 5 minutes.
Kid Canada at 01:14 PM on 09/30/06
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Connectedness Index: 138

Firefox no likey the Macromedia.
Roy Hobbs at 01:15 PM on 09/30/06
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But where the fuck was Mamula?
jmstrath at 01:29 PM on 09/30/06
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Illinois is up 10-3 at half on Michigan State. Hide the women and children in East Lansing if Illinois pulls this off. Here's hoping the radio guy spares the innocents and "T.O.'s" himself.
TattooedMess(iah) at 01:32 PM on 09/30/06
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Connectedness Index: 313

I'm not on firefox, but my comp's giving me problems with this thing too. I think Mamula was playing Soozy's game and passed out. Lightweight.
SA at 01:35 PM on 09/30/06
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Connectedness Index: 78

Go to The House Rock Built. It plays fine there.

I actually feel sorry for this guy. Why wasn't there a suicide watch for him?
Tuffy at 01:50 PM on 09/30/06
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Connectedness Index: 212

I think I'd rather be a prepubescent girl under the grueling tutelage of Bela Karolyi than a 19 year old college football player.

I've said too much.
Delicious Pundit at 02:16 PM on 09/30/06
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If, like me, you don't have time for the full 15:00, I can assure you that just starting and stopping it at random points is also fulfilling.
Moonshine Mike at 02:18 PM on 09/30/06
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HR Puff n' stuff still believes in the Wishbone, and doesn't like to run the option.
hegintheHP at 02:29 PM on 09/30/06
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Absolutely brilliant is all I can say. . . . This is the Fan Rant of the Year. "Time outs aren't like cell phone minutes--they don't carry over!" "You've got your secondary floating out there on dinghys!" I can only imagine how he took Joey Harrington to the woodshed.
Cooler Than Warm Milk at 02:30 PM on 09/30/06
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Teddy Ruxbin was interviewed for the Raiders head coaching position, so it isn't that ludacris of a statement.
Cooler Than Warm Milk at 02:35 PM on 09/30/06
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Also, if this guy is still employed, I'd love to hear his reaction to the debacle that is today's game aganist Illinois.
Homer at 03:00 PM on 09/30/06
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That clip is absolutely priceless! In only 15 minutes he goes from announcer to complete babbling idio ... HUGH!!
Kimo von Oelhoffen at 03:10 PM on 09/30/06
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thank you, northwest.
$Image of hector villanueva\'s posse$ hector villanueva's posse at 03:13 PM on 09/30/06
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Yeah, can someone tape his show this week? I think they were puckering something else up this time around...
Billy Batts at 03:33 PM on 09/30/06
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Reminds me of Kurtz' radio broadcasts in Apocalypse Now.

Drew Stanton... the horror. The horror.
Billy Batts at 03:35 PM on 09/30/06
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One other thing. He blames 50% on Stanton, 50% on the players, and 50% on John L. Smith and staff.

Gotta love that Michigan State math. And it's nice that we've reached a point as a nation where a man can tearfully yell on the radio, "You got Drew Stanton running the option in Hurricane Katrina!"

Comedy = tragedy + time
preciousroy at 04:03 PM on 09/30/06
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No, Billy. It's a tautology:

Comedy = Michigan State University
Jaberwockish at 04:45 PM on 09/30/06
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I don't know what we're yelling about!!!

LOUD NOISES!!!
UIUC-Chief at 05:04 PM on 09/30/06
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"So fat boy could feed em pudding", now that is the funniest line in the whole damn segment.
Oh, Chet! at 05:27 PM on 09/30/06
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I was hoping to make a comprehensive list of all this fellow's sports radio cliches that make sports radio completely insufferable, but my computer started shooting sparks from the speakers, and I think I saw it emit a tear from the mouse touch pad.
CliffX at 05:29 PM on 09/30/06
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While the audio is both hilarious and inspiring, that guy could have permanently wrecked his relationship with MSU, making sucking sounds and blasting anyone associated with the team. Dumbass.
T-dawg at 05:53 PM on 09/30/06
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it was the defensive coordinator that needs to be replaced by childhood toys and stoner characters, not the offensive...

i say that merely because HR PufnStuf is known for his chaotic zone blitzing packages... it was actually the Banana Splitz, not HR, who mastered the wishbone in the mid to late 70's.
SlickBomb at 06:35 PM on 09/30/06
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If you don't stop turning the ball over, you'll be living in a VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!!"
all hail blue and gold at 06:59 PM on 09/30/06
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wow, if there ever was the exact opposite of Joe Starkey's call of The Play, this was it.

"AND THE BEARS!!! THE BEARS HAVE WON!!! THE BEARS HAVE WON!!! Oh my God, the most amazing, sensational, traumatic, heart rending... exciting thrilling finish in the history of college football!"
P33KAJ3W at 07:04 PM on 09/30/06
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I wonder if it was a choke job?
ndj649 at 07:42 PM on 09/30/06
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I was at that dumb game. It's a funny thing about watching a game in such rain. When you're winning, you love that it's raining, that you can't feel your hands, and that you can see your fat friend's nipples through his shirt. But when the game turns, it's like you look down and realize for the first time that you're soaking wet and cold. That poor poor sap.
Pinata at 11:44 PM on 09/30/06
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About at the five minute mark, where he's talking about how he stepped up, paid his $75, and got a bunch of "old-asses" in the stands to start cheering is where this becomes comedy gold.

My favorite part is either the anguished repetition of "MAKE ... PLAYS" or the part where he rants about how time outs are not like cell phone minutes. (We'll assume he has Cingular.)

Dude will be losing his mind on Monday after his Spartans lost to the likes of Juice Williams.
bizzo5000 at 03:04 AM on 10/01/06
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I LIVE IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!!
AlkalineKidAP at 09:12 PM on 10/02/06
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The MSU radio guy's name is Mike Valenti. He does a morning show with Detroit Free Press Columnist Terry Foster every weekday on a Detroit AM radio station. This is not the first time I've heard him rant. He does it fairly often. But this one was probably the most insane one I've heard yet. All I'm saying... there's more where that came from.