Deadspin
On his radio show Friday, ESPN fella Dan LeBatard, because he's out in Miami and apparently no one in Bristol listens out there, had a few choice words to say about the Woody Paige, "Cold Pizza" sexual harassment case. He called ESPN "filled with sexual harassment" and said "it's actually funny." And we agree: It is!
But he saved his loudest admonitions for our pal Harold Reynolds; he says Harold has no business pleading innocence. What's LeBatard's case? Harold hit on his girlfriend.
"For Harold to be claiming that he was wrongfully fired.. I don't know how he says that with a straight face." ... "He creeped out two of my girlfriends ... I'm doubtful."
You can hear the whole audio at Leave The Man Alone. Personally, we're just creeped out that Dan LeBatard has had multiple girlfriends.
ESPN Is Filled With Sexual Harassment [Leave The Man Alone]
Our Interview With Harold Reynolds [Deadspin]
Comments
LeBatard? A girlfriend?
A likely story.
Watch it LeBatard, HR is so smooth he will be having a 3-way with your girl AND your Mom behind Boston Market before the day is out.
I think it's a racial thing.
In HR's defense, if you saw a woman out with LeBatard, the last thing you would assume is that she's his girlfriend
He creeped out two of my girlfriends
Which is hard to do when you're already Dan LeBatard's girlfriend.
HEY-O!!!!!!!!!!
My college journalism adviser told me a story about Lebby being this huge womanizer early in his career. After I was done choking on my tongue, I asked him to never tell me another story.
@flubby: That's some chocolate sauce-covered nightmare fuel.
We all know one of LeBatard's girlfriends is named Rosy Palm and the other one lives in Canada - you wouldn't know her.
@flubby:
I want to take that joke behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
By the way, this means LeBatard will be disciplined before Paige, which makes perfect sense in Bristol, aka Shithead Country.
Yeah, I've met LeBatard. No way he's had two girlfriends in this decade.
He called ESPN "filled with sexual harassment" and said "it's actually funny."
Well if that's the case, Mister LeBatard, then why isn't Erin Andrews returning my calls?
Maybe they're just girls who are friends.
Wait, that's not very likely, either.
He didn't pay for consensual sex with two of my girlfriends.
Fixed.
@Senators Lost Cojones:
I've had her tied up.
I creep out my own girlfriend all the time.
And if there's a sports journalist in America whose integrity is unimpeachable, it's certainly Dan LeBatard.
@Weed Against Speed: Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver.
A workplace dominated men whose lives revolve around sports is filled with sexual harassment? GET OUT!
@Lady Andrea: Yeah, that's fucking insane. A world gone mad, I tell you!
"Fun With Sexual Harrassment". I'm smelling a Friday Balls post here.
LeBatard has had two girlfriends and I can't even get a date. I'm gonna go hang myself now.
And in related news, I just got a job at ESPN.
Lebetard's Wikipedia page has some gems:
While doing a radio-show, Le Batard was fingering himself the whole time, causing him to shit all over his co-host.
He often hides in the locker rooms, trying to catch a glimpse of an athlete's foreskin.
[en.wikipedia.org]
Everyone needs to check out LeBatard's Wikipedia page before they take it down:
[en.wikipedia.org]
I continue to find it amusing that his last name means "the bastard" in French.
@Dan Daoust: seriously? Who are you going to harass first?
I had to capture that whole thing before they take it down:
Dan Le Batard is an American newspaper sportswriter, radio host, and television reporter. "Le Batard" means "The Bastard" in French.
Le Batard graduated from the University of Miamiwhere he had a homosexual relationship with some guy's dick. In 1990 with a bachelor of arts degree in journalism and politics, he decided to molest his grandfather repeatedly with his asshole. He received criticism for helping to escalate the raping of grandfathers in every household of Florida.
Le Batard began work at the Miami Herald in 1990 and is a columnist for their sports section. His first major work for The Herald was to investigate his former college roommate leading to the wierd romp they had at the local HOLIDAY INN, which was highly publisized.
Le Batard hosts an afternoon radio show weekdays with Jon "Stugotz" Weiner on WAXY 790 ("The Ticket") AM weekdays 4-7pm in Miami. Le Batard is known for his self-deprecating humor, which carries over onto the show through running jokes. For example, after Le Batard casually disclosed that he sometimes sleeps on the balcony of his apartment/condo,because his boyfriend dislikes the way he always farts in bed. Callers sarcastically are known to call him Dan Levitz after KISS singer Gene Simmons mistakenly called him by this name. It also is well known for the weekly Friday segment with controversial wide receiver Terrell Owens.[1] The show also has sports and comedy guests who interact with callers. Le Batard requires callers to start their call without pleasantries (Such as "Hi, how are you doing today?" or "What's up?"), or their call is immediately dropped after the show plays a suey montage. While doing a radio-show, Le Batard was fingering himself the whole time, causing him to shit all over his co-host.
The "Suey" is named after a term Luther Campbell used to describe a rap record by basketball star Kobe Bryant. Campbell called it worse than garbage, worse than sewage... suey. The suey montage, on first play each day, will run over 30 seconds and includes strange and random sounds from past shows. Le Batard has always reffered to Luther Campbell as " Honey Thighs".
A further example of Le Batard's self-deprecation and supposedly "hatable-ness" is a series of billboards around Miami that advertise his radio show in which Le Batard's face seems to be covered by a large amount of crotch.
Le Batard is an outspoken critic of disciplinarian coaches on his radio show and in his columns for ESPN the Magazine, feeling that the disciplinarian style of coaching is ill-suited to the modern era of high player salaries and guaranteed contracts. He often hides in the locker rooms, trying to catch a glimpse of an athlete's foreskin.
[edit] Trivia
Le Batard's brother, David, is an artist of Lebo Studios fame. David Le Batard has never willingly attended a sporting event, despite his brother's vocation.
Le Batard also controversially claimed that Steve Nash won the NBA MVP award "because he was white and because he is so jealous of his silky legs and his botoxed balls, smooth as eggs. His brother David is in fact a cross dresser who goes by the name of Twinkle Tits.
@throwbot:
"Le Batard graduated from the University of Miami where he had a homosexual relationship with some guy's dick. In 1990 with a bachelor of arts degree in journalism and politics, he decided to molest his grandfather repeatedly with his asshole. He received criticism for helping to escalate the raping of grandfathers in every household of Florida."
I lol'ed.
Don't Hit On Dan LeBatard's Girlfriends ... because they're imaginary and thus hard to have sex with.
@Burnsy: Really? Well I guess I won't have to worry about this anymore.
*rips up Restraining Order*
@throwbot: My bad - didn't refresh comments.
@Lady Andrea: Was kidding there. The joke is that I'm so well known for my sexual harrassing. Eh, you had to be there, in my head, when I thought of it, and it was funny.
Are we sure there's not a player's side LeBatard can take in all of this?
@throwbot: Fantastic.
And listening to that audio, I think LeBetard states no less than 5 times he had "2 girlfriends."
also from his wiki page:
For example, after Le Batard casually disclosed that he sometimes sleeps on the balcony of his apartment/condo,because his boyfriend dislikes the way he always farts in bed.
@Dan Daoust: This is all quite brillant.
Botoxed balls? That Steve Nash, ahead of his time I tell ya.
If instead of HR it had been one the guys whose asses LeBatard is always kissing (TO, Shaq, Ricky Williams), he wouldn't have said peep. "Yeah, baby, go ahead with Shaq. If he wants the buttsecks, don't make his ask twice."
@Dan Daoust:
This was clearly HR's first assignment blogging for MLB.com.
I am immediately renaming my dog Twinkle Tits. Should make for some fun times at the dog park.
Dan LeBatard is the most Now of all of ESPN personalities.
To give ESPN a bit of defense--I interviewed an attractive woman who worked at ESPN on my blog (http://mcbias.blogspot.com/2007/06/mcbias-interviews-this-suit-is-not.html) and she said she never had a problem with sexual harassment. Maybe she just stayed in Stu Scott's blind spot?
Where's Berman in all of this? The WWL could really use his calm, nonthreatening, above-reproachiness right now.
That Wikipedia page is the single funniest thing I've seen in a week. And, since it's on the Internet, it must be true!
That Wikipedia entry reminds me of Mad Libs, but instead of 12 year olds saying "poop" and "butt", it's 20-30 year olds saying "homosexual relationship with some guys dick" and talking about raping grandfathers.
i wonder if by girlfriend , LeBartard actually means the pieces of rabbitt fur he rubs against him-self at night ?
Le Batard also controversially claimed that Steve Nash won the NBA MVP award "because he was white and because he is so jealous of his silky legs and his botoxed balls, smooth as eggs.
that doesn't even make sense yet I find it hilarious.
@TheOldPooperoo: Clearly you missed the comment string following last Friday's Cultural Oddsmaker.
To give ESPN a bit of defense--I interviewed an attractive woman who worked at ESPN on my blog (http://mcbias.blogspot.com/2007/06/mcbias-interviews-this-suit-is-not.html) and she said she never had a problem with sexual harassment. Maybe she just stayed in Stu Scott's blind spot?
Nah, I doubt it. That glass eye sees everything, I tell you, everything.
Who wants to sex Lebatard!
@UpstateUnderdog: I heard Le Batard sucked his first boob last night. For seven hours.