[peers around corner]

Is it safe to come out now?

Said it before, say it again.

This guy needs his own handwritten blog.

Another Carolina boy done good.

Dr. Blood's Orgy of Organs sounds like something I want to know more about...

I like that he wrote "Amen" at the end. It just makes it so much more awesome.

I thought this guy was supposed to be a lunatic. This legal filing, however, is perfectly cromulent.

You know why this guy is a genius? He manages to drop non sequitors like "Fish come from the bottom of the Salt Lake" into a lawsuit that is already nonsensical.

That's a dangerously high degree of comedy difficulty.

I was doing a facebook search for folks who graduated from my high school, and came up with someone who's currently in the South Carolina prison system. Maybe he knows this guy.

@'Suss--': Didn't realize that was the same guy. Fudge the blog, get this man a reality show, STAT.

Cowherd just wants to be the King of Denmark so badly.

I thought "Dr. Blood's Orgy of Organs" was a song by Cannibal Corpse

I think I'd rather listen to all of this guy's legal filings read over the air by Tom Carvel than Schrutebag.

"Cowherd lies on the show. Claims he 'goes to the gym' after work, instead I saw him at Starbucks with Lloyd Carr ..."

I like that he had the foresight to "copyright" his name.

Does this man need pro bono representation?

Dr. Blood's Orgy of Organs. Awesome.

Jonathan Lee Riches > Ombudsmen re: gutting Schrutebag

Who knew Lloyd Carr and S-bag went to Starbucks together ?

Cowherd is "Spanning The Globe" with my mind, giving me a constant variety of sports hernias.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your Deadspin SHOTY 2008.

Anyone else think this handwriting looks familiar? I'm wondering about the connection between "Michael Vick" and Jonathan Lee Riches.

@Kid Canada: I love the fact he's "doing business as" Dr. Blood's Orgy of Organs. How do you advertise? Is it a cash business? So many questions...

This reads like one of Lou Holtz's pep talks...

I picture a running list of egregious offenses of Colin posted on this guy's cell wall, and it makes me very happy.

Somebody really needs clemency and I would fully support it knowing he is subjected to Schrutebag every day.

@Shea Guevara: It's too bad he has already passed on to the great ice cream store in the sky

I just passed out with pleasure while reading this. I'm glad to see it wasn't all a dream.

Is there a place for all of this guy's lawsuits? Like how Toby files Dwight's complaints about Jim, I'm guessing.

@Upstate Underdog: Where they hook up with Peter King and enjoy vigorous man love.

@Jen P: There's a facebook network for people in prison?

Anyone interested in making this class-action?

If ear poisoning is really a punishable offense, then I have some suing to do.

I'm looking in your direction SAS...

This Riches© character is lying. I invented and patented the Wheel of Genius.

@Disgruntled Goat: where do i sign

Oh, and Riches© is suing Brangelina and their children for international kidnapping. Money quote:

"Zahara, Shiloh, Pax Pitt know about this, but fail to report it to police. I learned of this through Billy Bob Thorton who is my pen pal."

Also, David Beckham is financing the entire thing. But he's not being sued. Thank the Lord.

Can Jonathan take over the SSW?

If he is in solitary, he must travel through space and time with Darren Daulton to see the Schrutebag at Starbucks.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I think he should be hired for a daily closer

You know, what with some prisons having Internet access (I think, anyway) ... I wonder if this guy reads Deadspin. Maybe he's reading this very post.

@Jen P: He has facebook in prison? Jesus, its worse than I thought.

@Zach Parise's Shorty: I guess they can join if they have computer access, but his facebook page just says "This facebook member is currently incarcerated in the South Carolina state prison system. You must be 18 or older to friend this member."

I had not read the complaint against Isiah Thomas. I learned numerous facts by reading it:

1) Isiah played pick up with Rip Hamilton in Pennsylvania.

2) Isiah really likes white men.

3) If Riches refused to have phone sex with Isiah in prison, Isiah would send his friend patrick ewing to get riches.

Wow. My coworkers think I'm bananas right now.

Dr. Blood is due to be released 3/23/2012.

@Sarge: Scott T. Sargent©

I wish Jonathan was my grandpa so I could sit on his lap while he told me stories all day.

Cowherd is a double agent; also works part time at Fox Sportsnet but collects double paychecks with ESPN.

Awesome

@Jen P: Who cares about that, you can join one of several fan clubs.

[www.facebook.com]

Oh, please let this go to trial. The bit about Carr and Starbucks is great.

@Summer-of-George: But then people can't complain about how awful it is.

@Shea Guevara: I wouldn't mind hearing a few inmates give Schrutebag a 'Fudgie the Whale' either, if ya know what I mean...ha cha cha cha.

@Jen P: "Friend this member"? I thought Myspace was the preferred service for random hookups and conjugal visit scheduling.

Someone should mail him this comments section and see if he sues Deadspin.

good one against George "daddy" Steinbrenner, he made Dr Blood eat a banana in front of the Yankee team and is waiting to be his "tony danza" when he gets out in 2012.

This guy deserves a Pulitzer. I honestly can't think of anything I'd rather read than one of his filings.

$25 million in damages, eh? Just hit up Rick Riley after he gets paid on Friday.

Man, Steinbrenner needs some help. He's into some sick shit.