Deadspin
For years now, Bill Simmons has notched considerable comedic mileage out of the supposed battle between his desire to say what He Really Wants To Say and what ESPN Will Allow Him To Say. There'd been enough supposed friction there that many wondered, when his contract with the network ran out at the end of March, if he would finally jump ship and unleash his shackles.
Nope. From today's Sports Business Journal:
ESPN.com has re-signed columnist Bill Simmons in a four-year extension through 2010. As part of the deal, Simmons "will help develop shows" for EOE.
We congratulate Simmons on the new deal; it's difficult to argue he hasn't earned it, and we will enjoy reading him for the next four years. (Really.) But we hope he will please spare us the "ESPN won't let me be ME!" and "I'm being electrocuted by ESPN editors right now!" references from now on. We didn't believe them then, and we really won't believe them now. Cool?
(UPDATE: From the story:
"He's always brimming with ideas for TV," said John Walsh, ESPN's executive vice president and executive editor. "Projects will pop up from time to time, and Bill will latch on to them." Those projects will include documentaries, entertainment-oriented shows and programming centered on fantasy sports.
Simmons is interested in developing sports documentaries, calling it "crazy that we've conceded sports documentaries to HBO." He has no plans to work on scripted shows, saying that ESPN has "too much of a conflict of interest because we have a deal with every league."
Simmons said he never seriously entertained leaving. "I didn't want to leave," he said. "I didn't shop myself around.")
Comments
Look at Will, playing nice with the enemy.
As part of the deal, Simmons "will help develop shows" for EOE.
Get ready for "The Soup: High-Pitched Version"!
I will now light myself on fire.
We will enjoy reading him for the next four years for the ammo. (Really.)
There, fixed it.
Does the deal encompass House, J-Dub, and Biff? Or do they need their own contracts?
Yes! ESPN7 is finally going to be a reality.
Bill Simmons...because you just can't hear enough about Holy Cross alumni named Sully.
Two Words:
Oh. Fuck.
The smugness really comes across in widescreen.
He'll get to develop shows? A rabid, feces-flinging monkey could develop shows as well as anyone ESPN has.
So maybe Simmons has a shot.
@Big Daddy Drew: Do you really think Will will be here in four years? He'll be too busy developing new humiliating game shows for NHK. At that point, Jimmy Kimmel will be so desperate for work that he'll sign the hosting contract without looking too closely at the language.
Sucessful? Yup.
Totally neutered? Yeah, that too.
I still contend he's a better writer than Jenn Sterger.
@RBS: Way to go out on a limb there.
How much money do you think he is making?
I say around $500,000 if he is helping develop shows and what not.
I wonder if that's why his old columns are no longer on Insider.
He has no plans to work on scripted shows, saying that ESPN has "too much of a conflict of interest because we have a deal with every league."
Conflicts of interest didn't stop them from running "Bonds on Bonds", why should it stop them now? Unless, ombudsman George Solomon ended up having more influence than we thought.
So I guess we'll be seeing countless documentaries about the Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots. Oh, and the Clippers, because, you know, he has season tickets and all.
Oh, great. "Rounders II - Electric Boogaloo" here we come...
he's the tucker max of the sports world. started out strong with some very funny stories and a style of writing outside the norm, and then failed to develop new substance while becoming engrossed in his own new found celebrity.
The 10th annual webby awards?
10 years of internet awards, really?
I wonder if the dancing hamster won in 1997.
@MCMLXXIX:
I think that's a reference to creating dramas which fictionalize the professional athletes and leagues, like Playmakers.
@diggity:
Not sure, but I think the Dooze deserves his own show.
We trash Simmons here all the time, but I still enjoy his columns. I skip the ones I really don't care about (most of his NBA stuff) and just read the rest. Yes, his shtick is getting old, but I still get a laugh from some of his jokes. I'm not going to join everyone else in bashing him.
Say what you will about Simmons - and he does bug me sometimes - but he's a hell of a lot closer to real fans/average viewers than the ESPN suits who shove Bonds on Bonds and sappy Chris Connely segments down viewers' throats.
Plus, yeah...4 more years of kicking his ass...
@MitchKayak: Al Gore would know.
@I Heart Poop:
+5 - outstanding analogy. They're both douchebags who got too big for their britches and stopped being funny.
the only conflicts of interest playmakers should have run against are good taste and timeslot, considering that soap operas are shown between 10am - 2:00 pm.
The Sports Baby was unavailable for comment.
oh, an no snorg tees girl, but AARP financial? did deadspin trend alot older all the sudden?
@Peter Cavan: It's better to be shtickless anyway.
I just can't wait for the first 'Top 50 Vegas Moments with J-Bug and House'
Considering the current, well-documented suckiness of Page 2, they kind of had to, didn't they? Simmons could have held out for obscene sums of money and the WWL would kind of have to pay or consider shutting P2 down altogether.
I do wonder whether this means that The Sports Gal will get her own column; she's a much better writer (and football prognosticator) than he is.
Nick pock marks, Bill. Who was teabagging you this time, Hench & "The Bug" or was it the Sklar Brothers.
@BigTDog: You're right, but conflicts of interest have never stopped ESPN before, why now?
I didn't shop myself around.
I've been shopping myself around for years. No takers yet. Maybe I should offer coupons.
How does his 4-year extension work with regard to the Sports Gal? Is there a clause in there for her? I'm not gonna lie... I kind of enjoy her little weekly segments.
ESPN picked the wrong Simmons. His wife is a more entertaining read.
I still believe we can flame this luser to Bantown.
By 2010 we should be deep into the saga of The Sports Divorce.
@BarlesCharkley:
sportsjournalists.com had his salary at $500,000 before this new contract. It has to be considerably higher now that he's developing programs and pimping his wife out to abc.com...
Has anyone ever seen the SportsGal? I'm really curious as to what kind of lady Simmons managed to ensnare for life.
i'd just like to know when he's going to finish his 73 top sports movies of all time. i think, so far, he's done about 6 of them.
Seriously, WWL, we know you're reading this. Get the Sports Gal her own column already.
simmons was much more influential 3-4 years ago when he was basically a sports fan who wrote for other sports fans. now, there are sites all over the place (like this one) that do the same thing without the filter espn imposes on him. from a career standpoint, he'd be better off leaving espn, forming an independent site with some other writers and using his expansive fan base make it work from the get-go. however, he chose to stick with the security espn affords him and jumped at the carrot they put in front of him because he wants to get involved in the eoe game.
have "we" given up on writing clever headlines to posts on this here site?
Has anyone actually seen Bill's wife? I have never even once seen a picture of her, and it kills me. When I envision her, I think of a cute Asian girl - NO IDEA why.
it's difficult to argue he hasn't earned it.
No, it's actually very easy.
I look forward to the heartwarming show(s) about a young boy learning life lessons through the heritage of various Boston sports teams from his gruff but loveable dad as they...zzzzzzzz
@Jerkwheat: Damnit Jerkwheat, get out of my head!!!!!!
@MitchKayak: No, the dancing baby was the runaway winner in '97. That and a hilarious list of lawyer jokes.
@I Heart Poop: he might be better off creatively but I can't imagine he'd earn more on his own than whatever ESPN is paying him.
@Weed Against Speed: Well, the Sports Gal is getting her own column, sort of. Doing summaries of the Bachelor or Bachelorette for ABC, also featured on the SG World page.
...only a couple more years until the Sports Baby gets her own corner, probably 30 second video clips ranting about how the pre-school bully stole her lunch money.
Seriously, Simmons, we know you're reading this. Get the Sports Gal her own column already.
FIXED
(also, Bill... love the basketball blog. way to join the Society That Thrives On Instant Hate)
@Peter Cavan:
I agree with the general thought. For me, it's just that the columns that are not funny/unreadable (mostly due to their repetitive jokes/discussions of his personal life (Peter King, anyone?)) have become more and more prevalent, leaving far fewer of his columns that I actually want to read.